


The Gentle Darkness

by littlebluetui



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Anger, Anger Management, Bad Boy Zayn, Caring, Cute, Daddy Kink, Daddy Zayn, Dom/sub, F/M, Fluff, Innocence, Innocent, Jealous Zayn, Protective Zayn, Romance, Rough Kissing, Rules, Sugar Daddy Zayn, Teenage One Direction, The Gentle Darkness, Top Zayn, Zayn Malik - Freeform, good girl, one direction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-04-02 19:17:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 37,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4071499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlebluetui/pseuds/littlebluetui
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Madalin-Jane is your typical good girl. Zayn Malik is your typical bad boy. On the surface anyway. One day after being convinced to go to a party with him, Madalin and Zayn start a crazy, weird, confusing as hell friendship, but could it become more?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First

"Madi! Hurry up or you'll make us late again!" Logan booms from the kitchen, making me roll my eyes in frustration. "I told you already, give me a minute!" I yell back, putting on the finishing touches to my make up. I stand up, taking one last look at myself before smiling in approval. Not bad. I had a loose grey top that hung in a low v neck, and a pair of simple light denim shorts. My hair was braided over my shoulder, and my aviators hung from the neck line of my shirt. The things you find at second hand stores. I pull on my converse that I had got for my birthday before locking up and grabbing my bag, jogging to the kitchen, to see Logan trying to get Benson to eat his breakfast. Dad worked two jobs, so he's not really home that often, so Logan and I basically raise Benson. He's a good kid though. Mum had him just before she left, and he's not even dads son, but he had no where else to go. I grab a banana and start eating it, while he cleans up the mess Benson had made, before I take off his bib, and pick him up, holding him on my hip and putting my bag on the other shoulder. "Lets go, let's go." Logan says quickly. He's definitely the panicky one. I'm a lot more of a mellow, go with the flow type. I walk out the door before him and he locks it behind me. We go over to the car that we both saved up to get and pile everything in while I strap Benson into his car seat. Oh, how I love mornings.

After dropping of Benson at daycare, we get to school just as the bell goes and run through the car park s we aren't late, again. We say good-bye to each other, and I open the door to calculus just as the la!te bell rings. I'm standing in the door way, and give the teacher the cheesiest smile I can muster, knowing he could flip out at me or let it go. "Madalin-Jane..." he sighs, before gesturing towards my desk and I quickly walk over to it, sitting down. "Sorry" I mumble as I pass him. "One day you will arrive on time, and it will be the happiest day of my life" he sighs. 

After health class, and then a horrific double of English, it's finally time for lunch. Praise the Lord. Ad I walk down the hall ways with my best friend, Dani to go drop my books of at my locker, we discuss her potential relationship with the head jock, Davin. Bless, they'd be so cute together. As we round the corner, I see Them all surrounding my locker. My eyes widen as I look over each of them, confused about why the would want to talk to me. "What do they want?" Dani whispers and I shrug my shoulders. "I've no idea" I mumble. It was them. That group at school who even I avoided. The boys who got suspended seemingly every week, whose bodies were littered with tattoos and who slept with different girls every weekend, only to ignore them when Monday came around. The bad boys. They were all in a circle around my locker, with one leaning on it. Dani and I exchange glances before we start to walk towards my locker. Maybe they're not really there for me. Maybe they're just talking and happen to have stopped outside my locker. Yeah, that's probably it. 

As we walk over, one of them looks up and spots us, and a smirk spreads across his lips before he nudges the one leaning against me locker. Soon he's staring at us walking over, that smirk plastered on his lips too, as I stare down at the ground. "Excuse me" I mumble, needing to get my things from my locker, and he steps to the side, eyes still glued on me though. See, I knew they would be here for me. I put away my books at a speed that could probably be a record before locking it and turning to walk away. As I think I'm almost free, I feel a big hand wrap around my wrist, pulling me back. He gently pushes me into my locker, and he stands near centimeters away from me. One of his hands lays on my hip, his thumb grazing across it while the other is on the locker, right next to my head. That smirk is still plastered on his lips as he looks down at me, and those dark eyes look even more beautiful from this close. It's Zayn Malik.


	2. Second

I look up into those dark brown eyes before I look away. They're way to intense. They hold to much mystery and hidden things, and they're just so dark. I'm also somewhat terrified about the fact he's got me pinned to a locker. I guess they did come to talk to me after all. As I turn my head to look away from him, I feel his lips softly against my neck, placing a few soft kisses along the skin, but I move my head away to stop him, only causing a chuckle to fall from his plump lips. Oh my God, he's so hot. I still had no idea what he wants, but I feels his warm hand lift my shirt just enough so he can lay his hand on my bare hip. "Look at me" he mumbles lowly, his voice like gravel as he speaks quietly, only loud enough so I can hear him. I take in a shaky breath due to being so scared, and reluctantly turn my head to look over at him. His smirk only grows as he sees how scared I am, and he brings the hand that's on the locker next to me to my face, brushing some hair that was falling in front of my eye, behind my ear. "Much better" he mumbles in a whisper. For someone who I've seen beat the shit out of many people, he's being so gently and soft with me, which I'm not sure whether I should see as a good thing or a bad thing. 

I've no idea where Dani has got to, because he's so close to me and so much taller that I can't see anything but his body. I'm rather surprised people are just letting him do this. Surely somebody has seen this and thought this situation was possibly a girl that needed a hand. But everyone else is probably just as scared of you as I am. "So, there's this party tonight and I would love to see you there" he says just as quietly as before, breaking me out of my thoughts. What? He wants me to go to a party? I feel his thumb rubbing circles against the skin on my hip as he tilts his head a bit waiting for me to say something. "I-I can't tonight" I stutter, my voice sounding as soft and sweet as it always does. I should be yelling at him to get off me, and pushing him away, but I'm frozen in fear. I don't even realised I've moved my head to look away from him, until I feel his fingertips on my chin, guiding me back to look at his perfect face. "You're coming" he tells me, his eyes becoming impossibly darker than they already were. Oh crap. This isn't good. "I-I've got a lot of homework" I say, tying to make an excuse. I do have lots of homework, so I'm not lying. "It's the weekend. Do it the other two days" he tells me, squeezing down on my hip ever so slightly. "I've not got a ride." I try that instead. I can see he's get impatient with me, as he leans in close, his lips close to my ear. "Don't be naughty, sweetheart. I'll be at your house at 9. Be ready" he says quietly, before pulling back and raising an eyebrow at me. "Understand?" He says, and I nod softly, goose bumps moving over my skin as his hand that's under my shirt trails round to the small of my back, his index finger brushing shapes onto the sensitive skin. "Good girl. I'll see you at 9 baby" he says, placing his lips to my forehead before stepping away from me. He winks, and the trusty smirk lays on his lips as all the boys walk away. What just happened?


	3. Third

I'm still pressed up against the locker, my eyes wide as I try to fathom what just happened. I move my head and look over at Dani, whose mouth is wide as she looks back at me. "What just happened?" I ask her, bewildered. "I've no fucking idea." She replies as I push myself off locker, fixing up my clothes as I run my fingers through my hair, shaking out, a nervous habit of mine. I had been invited to the party, but I wasn't planning on going. I had to look after Benson. But I guess I would have to get someone to watch him, or beg Logan to do it. Great. 

The rest of the day, I can't keep my mind off what happened with Zayn earlier in the hall. I don't know what he wanted with me. Everyone knew I didn't sleep around, and that I was innocent little Madalin, so why would he won't me to go that party. It doesn't even make sense. I tell, or more complain to Logan about it on the car ride home, and his best advice is to just suck it up and try to have fun. He's scared of Zayn too. Logan's not a small guy. In fact he's pretty muscly, but no one in their right minds would go by those boys. All five of the are bad news. There was Louis Tomlinson, the clown, the sass master and he was known for being snappy and rude to teachers. Niall Horan was always laughing at someone else's expense, smiling about something, but could turn in a split second. Liam Payne seemed like a normal boy, only he had one of the shortest tempers you've ever seen. I guess they all did really. Next there's Harry Styles . He's the biggest player out of the lot of them. Always smirking and winking fondling different girls in the hall. All class. And finally there's my friend, Zayn Malik . He was the quiet, mysterious one, that no one really knew anything about. None of that might even be true though, but it's what the kids around school say.

When we get home, I get Benson a snack before leaving him with Logan and going to my room. After much begging and pleading, he'd agreed to stay at home tonight to watch Benny. Him and his girlfriend were just going to hang out at her place anyway, so it wasn't much of a change for him. I get some homework done before cooking dinner for everyone. I go and have a shower, before standing in my room, debating what to wear. I wonder if he even knew my address? Maybe he wouldn't be able to find me and I could get out of this. I wanted out if it so bad. Every other girl at our school dreams of the day one of the lads will notice them. And now that it happened to me, it's terrifying. I look through my closet, frowning a bit. I didn't really have a lot of choice. Most of the dresses in here were Dani's that she had let me burrow, by I'm pretty sure she deliberately buys them for me because she feels bad. Her family is very rich. I find a dress that was light purple, which is a colour that goes well with my shin tone. It comes to my mid thigh, and has lace, three quarter length sleeves. Its tight, and hugs my figure, making me look pretty good, if I do say so myself. I go to the bathroom and do my make up, leaving it relatively natural, except for a bit of dark eye shadow, and the do my hair, letting it stay naturally, falling down my back in a slight wave. I walk back to my room and check my cruddy old Nokia as it lays on my bed, furrowing my eyebrows as I see a text from an unknown number. "I'll be there in 5 xx -Z" I sigh. Zayn. Who gave him my number? Most people at school have it but still. Why would someone give it to him! And my address! 

I pull on my black heels before walking down stairs. Dads still not home, and Benson's running around, refusing to settle down to bed as Logan and his girlfriend, Alana try to catch him. Alana compliments me, telling me I look amazing as I hear the door bell ring. Oh my God. This is already a disaster. I walk to the door, and see Zayn, black jeans, white v neck and a leather jacket. Shit he's hot. He looks up from his phone as he hears the door open, leaning on the brick wall as his eyes shamelessly travel up and down my body, and that signature smirk returns to his lips. I look away from him, blushing again while I run my fingers through my hair shaking it out. "Lets go" I says, reaching out and taking a hold of my wrist, tugging at it so I step foward. Hey Madi, how's it going? You look lovely tonight. No. I got a 'lets go', just what every girls heart yearns for. I stumble a bit, pulling the door closed behind me as he takes me to his car, pulling me behind him the whole way. He let's go of my wrist as we reach the car and he walks round to the drivers side. Of course he didn't open the door. He wouldn't. I sigh and open the door sitting in the passengers seat before he reverses out. 

Through the car ride, he keeps his hand rested on my bare thigh, and as I try to push him away, he reminds me to "Be a good girl." I stay quiet through the car ride, only nodding as he makes more objectifying comments. When we pull up in the street, there's cars parked everywhere, and I can hear the thumping music from half a block away. Zayn finds a park, and pulls in before getting out, and I follows. I stand up a pull my dress down a bit, before I look up and see Zayn write in front of me. He takes a step toward me, making me take one back, and I feel the cool metal of his Range Rover against my back as he steps closer again, looking down at me. "We are going to have a few rules tonight..." he mumbles into my ear, lips brushing across it gently, as my eyes widen. Not again. I feel his lips move to my neck, placing a soft kiss against the cold skin as I try to move away. "Uh uh uh" he tuts softly, rolling his hips foward to hold me in place while one of his hands comes to cup my cheek. "First of all, you listen to me" he says lowly, placing another soft kiss to my neck. He's talking softly, almost in a whisper, but it sounds intimidating, almost like a growl. " You stay with me" He continues in the same tone, bringing his hand up to brush some hair of my neck so he can continue his gentle assault. "You don't tell me no" he mumbles, kissing again as goose bumps spread over my while body. I stood silently, too scared to react or even move away from him. "And most importantly, and listen closely to this on love, because it's very crucial..." he mumbles, bringing his lips back to my ear, and nibbiling on the ear lobe gently. "You're mine." He growls lowly in my ear. Oh dear Lord.


	4. Chapter 4

I'm what sorry? He can't just stake a claim on a human being like that! I find myself wishing for the millionth time that I wasn't so nice. I should push him away from me or kick him and tell him to fuck off. But instead, I feel myself nodding when he asks a low "do you understand?" I feel the smirk creep back over his lips as they're still pressed to my skin, and he kisses a few more times before pulling away. "Good girl" he says softly, pressing a kiss to my forehead. I'm still confused about how gentle he is with me. He's invasive, and demanding and controlling, but he's all gentle and soft and careful. At least with me. He acts as if he might touch me too hard, or even talk too loud and I'll break in his arms. I probably would.

He steps back, setting me free of the cage he trapped me in, before wrapping his arm around my waist and starting to walk me towards the lit up house, that's music was way, way too loud. I feel his thumb grazing across my hip, as we walk. If Dani was where he is standing, and all my other friends were here too, I would be so amped for a really good night. But I'm stuck here with Zayn, and I can't even go see my friends because I have to stay by Zayn the whole time. He makes more rules than my dad does. I look around as we walk up the path, drunk people already laying on the front lawn. "Madi!" Someone yells at me, their voice heavily slurred and I look over to see one of the boys from the basketball team, sitting on the ground, a bottle in either of his hands. All class. "Hey Matt" I smile, giving him a wave over my shoulder since Zayn wouldn't stop walking. I hear what can only be described as a growl fall from his lips, and he holds me a bit closer to his side. His jaw is tense and his eyes narrow, but his thumb is still gently running tracks over my hip. I look away from his angry face, and back at the party. Just try to have fun, Madi.

Once we get inside, we are both passed red cups full of a mystery liquid and Zayn sips at his without questioning it. It could be petrol for all we know. I look at my cautiously, smelling it, not even realising Zayn watching me. "It's vodka and cranberry juice" he says with a light laugh. He almost sounds happy. I look up at him and see a big smile on his face as he looks down at me, and I can't help but let one creep over my lips too, before looking down and taking a sip. "So cute" I hear him whisper, even though I don't think I was meant to, before he pulls me closer and we start to walk through the party again.

He takes me out the back to where there's a big fire pit, and in the light that's provided by it, I can make out the faces of Harry, Niall, Liam and Louis. Great. He doesn't slow down as we go on the grass, obviously not caring that I had massive heels on. I already had to take 3 steps for one of his massive strides. When we get to the fire, there's chairs arranged all around it and Zayn sits in one. I walk over to another one, but I feel his grip around my wrist, pulling me back. He wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me down to sit on his lap. When I'm seated, his arms wrap around my waist, pulling my back against his chest, and his chin rests on my shoulder. "I'm not going to drink anymore, so you go ahead and go crazy" he says quietly in my ear. I would, but not with you, or around these people. Zayn keeps his chin rested on my shoulder as he follows the conversation between the rest of the boys, encouraging me to drink every so often. I'm a pretty small person, and I know that if he keeps getting me to drink like this, I'm going to be comatosed on the ground by mid night. 

"I bet I can sleep with that blonde girl there by the end of the night" I hear from Harry across the fire. I hadn't really been following their conversation, but that snapped me out of my thoughts. "No way. She's basically a nun" Zayn's voice laughs from right next to my ear. It's way louder than I've ever heard it before. "Whose he talking about?" I ask Zayn, and he takes one of his hands from around my waist and points to a girl with long blonde hair. She's my science lab partner. "That one there" he says, returning to the quiet voice He always spoke to me in. "That guy with black hair is her boyfriend" I say, looking at them. She'd never sleep with Harry. "She's got a boyfriend" Zayn says, talking to all the other boys as he pulls me a bit closer to him, getting comfortable again. "I thought you feel asleep there for a while" he chuckle quietly, kissing my shoulder. I shake my head, looking down at my almost empty cup. "Drink up." He instructs, putting his fingers on the bottom of the cup and lifting it up towards my lips. I take another sip before putting it back on my lap. "Good girl."

After another hour or so, Zayn's convinced me to finish the cup, and the rest of his, and we are still sat in the chair. His legs are probably asleep, but he's not said anything to me about it. What a gentleman. I'm leaning back into his chest, not because I want to, but more to just stay sitting, as he's only talking to me now, not worried about what the others are talking about. He whispering in my ear about something, but I'm not even to sure what it is. It might be a song. All I know is that it's really calming. I close my eyes for a second, and when I open them again, Zayn's lifting me off of his lap and sitting me back down in the chair. "We'll be back in a second" he tells me, and I watch them all walk away. The second they leave, I see Dani sprinting over the lawn to me. "Oh my God, how are you? Are you okay? What's going on? Tell me everything" I laugh at her, nodding my head a bit. "I've drunk quite a bit though" I laugh, hiccuping afterwards. I wasn't completely drunk, but I was definitely tipsy. She stays with me while they are gone, and soon the boys all come walking back. "Oh my god" Dani whispers. I bet they've just been in a fight. Zayn's lip is cut, and bleeding, and I watch as he spits out some blood. The rest of them have a few cuts too, and are a bit ruffled up. "You should see the other guys" Louis laughs as he sees us both looking at them. I can only imagine what happened to the other guys, but I'm pretty sure they'd be a lot worse off the these guys. Zayn stands over me and Dani scampers away again. He takes my wrist pulling me up, muttering a "we're going" and starts to pull me back towards the house. He only stops to take of his leather jacket and help me put it on, before storming all the way to his car and getting in. Greeeaat.


	5. Chapter 5

Zayn hops in his car and starts the engine before I can even get in. I feel myself sobering up as I realise I'm going to find myself in a hostile situation when I get in the car. Zayn looks at me through the front window, and impatiently raises an eyebrow at me, silently asking why I'm not in the car yet. I quickly walk to my door and open it, getting in and doing up my belt. “You're staying with me tonight.” He tells me after a few second of silence, and I look over at him, furrowing my eyebrows. He can't just decree I'm staying with him. “Remember the rules” is all he says before pulling out of the car space and starting to drive. This is stupid and horrible, and basically kidnapping, and I cant even think straight because of what he made me drink. Without really thinking too much, I shake my head. “No” I tell him. Oh god, do I want to die? “What did you just say?” He asks, his tone almost daring me to repeat myself. I knew one of his rules was that I had to listen, but this is just absurd. “I said no. I have to work on the morning.” I tell him, watching as he jaw clenched. I'm really in trouble now. His knuckles are white as he grips the steering wheel, before he slams on the breaks, apparently not caring that we are in the middle of the road. The streets are basically deserted anyway. He turns to me, and his eyes are so dark that the sight of them alone makes me whimper, and sink back in my chair, trying to distance myself from him. To my surprise, he seems to soften, ever so slightly as he sees how scared I am. He bites his lip before turning away from me. He runs his fingers through his hair, letting out a frustrated yell that booms through the car. “You are staying with me. Understood?” he asks in a growl, turning back to look at me again. I quickly nod, knowing that he could do anything he wants to me right now, and I couldn't stop him. But he looks to be trying to control himself; like he's fighting some kind of demon inside. He's trying to calm himself desperately, almost as if he doesn't want me to see him like this. He leans over the centre console and puts his hand on the back of my neck, pulling me towards him. I realise he lost the battle with whatever he was trying to fight and that he's going to smash my head against something, and I close my eyes tight in anticipation. I feel a soft pair of lips press gently against my forehead instead, and a broken boy whisper “good girl.”

 

The rest of the ride to his house is silent, Zayn's heavy breathing the only sound in the car as he slowly clams down. I think he knows how bad he scares me. We eventually pull up outside a two storied house, and Zayn stops the car. He just sits there for a second before he gets out of the car and shuts the door behind him. I take that as my cue, and I undo my belt, opening my door and getting out too. I stumble a little bit as I stand, and Zayn's quickly next to me, wrapping his arm around my waist to offer me some support. Soft, gentle, threatening, dark Zayn. He starts to walk, but we don't go to the house, rather going to the side, and going down a path. He takes me to the back yard, where there's an outhouse towards the back of the section. He leads me over to it, and reaches above one of the lamps, and when his hand comes back, its clasping a silver key. He unlocks the door, pushing it open before putting the key back and releasing me from his grip. I step into the room and flick the light switch. There's a double bed, and a few paintings on the wall, and the room is really messy, clothes laying everywhere. At the other end of the room, there's a door, and its been left open enough so that I can see its a bathroom. Its a very impersonal room, no pictures of family or friends. It's mysterious, just like him. Zayn stands quietly after he shut the door, and I don't notice him watching me taking in the room until I glance over at him. “I think its past your bed time, love” he tells me as he walks over to me. Probably because I feel asleep on him at the party, and he sounds a bit sleepy himself. "Is your lip okay?" I ask him softly, furrowing my eyebrows. I bring my hand up and gently run my thumb over the cut. This is definitely the alcohol acting here. He watches me, his dark eyes focusing on my features while I focus on his lip. "It's okay" he assures me in a whisper. I pull my hand away, but he catches my wrist, and walks me over the bed.

I follow behind him as he pulls me before he puts his hands on my hips and sets me down on the bed. I’m completely silent, my eyes following his every move as he crouches down in front of me and starts to undo the straps of my heels, taking them off and laying them next to each other on the floor. He stands up again, towering over me as before reaching down and taking my hands, standing me back up. We are both silent as he walks behind me, slipping his warm leather jacket off my shoulders, and throwing it on the ground, before I feel his fingers fumbling with the catch at the back of my dress. He undoes it, then takes the small zip in between his fingers and trailing it down my back. I'm thankful I opted for wearing a bra as his cold finger tips, trail over the soft skin of my back, as goosebumps quickly form. I don't dare to say anything, or even move, frozen in curiosity of what his next move will be. His hands disappear from my skin, and before I can figure out if I'm revealed or upset about it, he's standing in front of me again. He's a good foot or so taller than me, and I look up at him, but his eyes aren't looking for mine. They are trailing across my collarbone as he gently guides my dress down my body, and moving to every bit of new skin he exposes, taking it all in. His face is so soft now, all traces of his previous anger are completely gone, and his eyes are curious, as if he'd never seen anything like this before. He takes my arm in his hands as he tugs the sleeves off might right arm, and then my left, and my dress falls the rest of my way down my body, pooling at my feet. Zayn's hands find mine, and I step out of the dress and he kicks it away, his eyes still moving over my body. The demon he was fighting is long gone, and just the gentle boy remains. He places a kiss to my forehead before he lets go of my hands, walking over to the closet and grabbing a clean black v-neck. "Hands up" he mumbles when he's back in front of me again, and I do as he says, as he slips the shirt onto me. Its baggy and falls to my upper thigh, and he takes my hand again, leading me to his bed. He pulls back the covers and helps me in, before he gets undressed so he's only in a pair of black boxers. He flips off the light switch, making the small room pitch black before finding his way back to his bed. He nudges me over softly, before crawling in next to me and wrapping his arms protectively around me. He kisses more forehead, and I hear him mumble a good night, before I dose off to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

My eyes slowly flutter open, and I'm instantly met with a pounding headache, making me close my eyes again and groan. Why do I do this to myself? Every time I go to a party, I end up swearing I'll never drink again, but funny enough, I'll wake up with this same feeling after the next one. I can remember a few chunks from last night, and that's when my eyes slam open in realisation, and they're greeted by a dark pair staring back. Zayn. I realise his arms are wrapped around me, meaning I must have been cuddled into his chest while we were sleeping. Oh no, oh no, oh no. I obviously look like I'm panicking, because an amused smirk slowly crawls across his face. "Z-Zayn, sorry" I mumble as I try to roll away from him, but he only pulls me closer and let's out a whine. He must not want me to go yet. I have to fight the feeling that I get when his arms are around me like this. I feel safe, as odd is that is when we're talking about Zayn Malik, and I feel like I want to just stay here all day, with his tattooed arms around me. But no. I can't do that. Because he's Zayn, and I'm Madi and we don't happen. I try to wiggle away from him again, and I can tell he's getting grumpy with me now. "Stop" he lets out, and holy shit the morning voice makes me week. "I've got work" I tell him as he brings me back to his warm chest again. I fight the urge to give in and cuddle with him, because that stupid. I'm smarter than doing that with Zayn. I'm better than getting played by his game. "Call up and cancel" he grumbles, snaking one of his big hands up the back of my shirt, and starting to trail patterns on my bare back. He's making this so hard for me. "I can't" I shake my head, even though his eyes have fallen closed. He must be tired still. He blindly nuzzles into the crook of my neck, and start to kiss along it, holding me close to him. "Zayn, seriously. I have to go" I mumble, biting down on my lip. I refuse to acknowledge that it feels good. The way his stubble feels against my soft skin, and his slightly swollen lip from the fight he got in yesterday. "Call them and tell them you can't come in" he repeats, lower this time. I shake my head, and he growls against my neck, only holding me closer to him. He pulls away from me, and reaches over to the bed side table. He grabs a black iPhone and unlocks it, handing it to me, before his lips find my neck again. He's not sucking, or nibbling the skin, rather just placing incredibly soft kisses to it. "Call them" he repeats as his lips trail across my collarbone. Maybe I should tell them when they pick up that a crazy guy from my school has basically kidnapped me and ask my boss, Michelle, to come pick me up. I go to get out of bed so I can call her, but Zayn pulls me back down again. "Call them here. So I can hear." There goes that plan.

After I call my work and tell them I can't come in because I've got a tummy bug, I lay there for a while longer while Zayn continues to place kisses to ever millimeter of my neck. Occasionally, he'll mumble something that I can't make out, but I don't think he wants me to know what he's saying. I low growling sound fills the room, and for once, it isn't Zayn, rather my tummy. His lips stop straight away, and he lets out a chuckle while I silently thank my eternal hunger. "I'll go get us some food. Stay here" he says, before pulling back from me and kissing my forehead. He stands up out of his bed, and picks up some grey fat pants off the ground, putting them on before walking out. I need to get out of here. As soon as he closes the door, I get out of bed too. I remember we walked down a path by the side of the house last night, so I guess that was my best option. I felt a pang of... guilt? I know it's stupid, when it's surrounding this really bad and scary guy, but he's also a soft and gentle guy. I push the feeling aside, and as soon as I see him go in the back door of the house, I open the door. Fuck. He locked it. I scramble through his things for a few seconds before finding another key and unlocking it, before taking off in a sprint across the back yard. I really didn't care if anyone saw me, as long as it wasn't Zayn. I run down the path, and out past Zayn's car that's still parked where we left it last night. I stop for a second, debating which way to go, when I glance back at the house. Through the front windows, I can see Zayn standing in the kitchen. I watch as he sees me standing out here, and his face instantly darkens. Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit.

He shakes his head, as if telling me not to do it, before I look away from him and quickly sprint down the unfamiliar road. We are in the rich area, not a place that I normally hang out, so I just run in down the roads, not really wanting to get lost. My phone, and my dress and my shoes are still in Zayn's room, but he can keep the if it means he'll leave me alone. After ten seconds or so of me sprinting, I hear a front door open, and then slam, and I don't even need to look back to know exactly who it is. I've probably got a hundered metre head start, but he's so much taller than me, I know he'll catch me. "Madi! Stop!" I hear him yelling from behind me, and I can hear how angry he is by his voice alone. The demons are back. I see a park, and I run into that and basically hurdle the little flower gardens. "Fucking hell Madi!" Zayn yells. He's even closer now. I start to panic way to much, and I can't even think straight. Why did I even leave? I should have just stayed. Next thing I know, I hit the ground, having stumbled over a jump rope some kid left laying on the ground. I'm vaguely aware of the tears streaming down my cheeks as I try to stand up again. "Shh, no baby. You're okay. Just sit back down" he's mumbles, arriving behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, stopping me mid way through my scramble to keep going. I know he's got me, and I realise he's trying to comfort me due to the sobs leaving my lips. "I'm not going to hurt you. I swear I'm not, just sit down, love, your legs bleeding" he continues softly, lowering me down to the ground before sitting down next to me. I can tell he's mad, but right now that's not what's important to him. Right now, I'm hurt, and he needs to fix it before he can focus on anything else. His jaw is clenched, but his eyes are soft as he takes my leg in his hand, laying it on his lap. "What were you thinking Madi?" He scolds me, but not in a scary way. More in the way your dad does when you've fallen out of a tree and you're hurt. "I mean, you're not even wearing pants" he adds, as he looks at the graze on my knee that is bleeding a lot . He turns his attention back to me again, and wraps his big arms around my crying frame, holding me close to him. He stokes my hair while I cry, one of my ears pressed to his chest, listening to his pounding heart from the run I'd just taken us on, and his lips close to my other ear, while he whispers promises of never hurting me. When my breathing steadied, and my sobs became occasional whimpers, he picks me up, cradling my small body as he carries me back to his room.


	7. Chapter 7

I hadn't noticed the dark clouds before, but I look up at them now as Zayn carries me. I'm cuddled into his chest, as if I'm hiding from someone. Which I am. I'm trying to hide from him. It's like I'm clinging to his dark side to save me from the bad one. I'm trying to protect myself from him by moving closer into him. His chest is still bare, his chest rising and falling steadily, half from the run, and half from the anger. I feel like once he knows I'm okay, he's going to let himself get mad. We go back down the path, and back to the out house. He opens the door and gently lays me on his bed, before disappearing into the bathroom. I hear some rummaging around, and soon he comes back with a big Tupperware box of first aid stuff. He sits it on the bed, and sits down too by my legs, crossing his. He pulls out a packet and rips it open, before using it to wipe the blood of my leg. He gets another one and dabs it over the graze itself and it forces another whimper from my lips. I lower myself down, laying my head on the pillow, as the wipe continues to sting my leg. It must be antiseptic. "I know baby, I'm sorry. Not much longer, I promise" he coos softly, placing a kiss to my uninjured knee as he moves so he sitting between them. I want to savor this side of him, because I know it will be gone again all too soon. The demons will return, and I'll lose this boy again. Once he's satisfied that it's clean, he brings out a dressing, and uses some strapping tape to hold it in place. He presses a kiss to the dressing, and pacts everything back away again. 

He comes back from the bathroom running his fingers through his hair as he walks back over to me. He sits down, pulling one of his knees up to his chest, and leaving the other one stretched across the bed. I think about it for a second before moving over and laying my head in his lap, looking up at him. His hand is in my hair in a split second, as he gently runs his fingers through it. His jaw is clenched and his eyes are narrow. "I'm sorry" I whisper, feeling guilty for leaving him. He didn't even do anything wrong, really. I mean, sure, he's demanding and dark but he's never actually hurt me. And he says he won't ever. I don't know whether it's the desperation in his voice while he whispers it to me, or its just what I want to hear, but something makes me believe it. "Don't do it again" he says lowly, not looking down at me, as his eyes bore into the wall across the room. I shake my head, telling him that I won't, and I think I mean it. I still can't wrap my head around him. He's got that look again like he's trying to stay calm for my sake, and I'm thankful for him doing it. He knows how scared I am, and he's really trying to make it better, even though it's hard for him. I sit up, and he turns to look at me, his eyes desperate. He must have thought I was going to leave, but I shake my head softly, telling him I'm not going anywhere. I find my phone among the mess on the floor, and Zayn silently watches me. "Are you asking someone to come get you?" He asks sadly, watching my fingers tapping on th keys. "No" I say, shaking my head again. "I'm telling them I won't be home for a while yet."

After promising I wasn't going to leave again, and locking me in, just in case, Zayn returns soon with food. He brings two bowls and a box of coco-pops and some milk. He makes 2 bowls of it before he hands one to me and we sit on his bed, eating them quietly. When we are finished, he wraps his arms around me, pulling me back under the covers again. I smile, which makes him smile, and I lay my head on his chest while he draws shapes on my back. I absent mindedly trail my finger over his chest and his tummy as he stares at my face with a small smile. "Do you know you talk in your sleep?" He asks after a long time. I tilt my head, looking up at him with a small smile. "No I don't" I say while I scrunch my nose up at him. He laughs a bit, a sound which gives me butterflies as he nods. "Yeah, you do" he tells me, tapping the end of my nose softly. "What did I say?" I ask him, still not believing what he was saying. "You were talking about someone called Benson" he says, but it sounds like a question as he pulls me closer. He's jealous. "Benson's three" I tell him, and he relaxes a bit, the small smile returning to his lips. "He's my brother" I add, getting a nod as a response before he closes his eyes. "I have to go home soon" I say, sitting up a bit. "No, you're staying" he says, opening his eyes to look at me. "I have to look after him. Logan has to go out" he looks at me for a while, obviously not believing me before sitting up too. "You wouldn't lie to me, right?" He asks, raising an eyebrow and I shake my head. "Lay back down" he says. "But I..." "Five more minutes." He says, then pulls me down. 

As soon as my head hits the pillow, I feels his lips on my neck again. He places a few soft kisses on it, before he start to use his tounge. Oh my. He sucks softly, looking for the spot that would give me the most pleasure as he tangles his legs through mine. I know he's wanting to give me a love bite. "Zayn, not on my neck" I whisper before I even know what I'm saying, and he seems to consider it for a second before he climbs on top of me, rolling me onto my back. He pulls away from my neck before disappearing under the covers. I feel his big hands pushing my top up, before his lips attach to my hips. Oh my word. He kisses and sucks on one of my hip bones, before his lips crawl across my body, kissing along the hem of my panties. My eyes are wide while I stare at the ceiling. His hands are on my thighs while he's laying between them and his hair is tickling my tummy. Five minutes later, I can feel that he has left a couple of decent marks on my hips, and one where he pushed the hem of my panties down to a risky level. He comes back up again, that smirk laying on his lips, before he kisses my forehead. "Good girl. You can go now"


	8. Chapter 8

Zayn and I sit in his car outside my house; me staring at the front door and him staring at me. I had tried to get out, but he told me to stay for a minute, and I knew better than to say no. It's against his rules. When he had originally stated them, I thought they were just for the night. I hoped they were just for the night, but as I got dressed back in his room, he asked me if I remembered his rules, before telling me them again. “You listen to me, you don't tell me no, you stay with me, and above all else, you are mine” he had reminded me, and his low voice kept saying the words over and over in my head. While his dark words whirl through my head, his gentle, calloused fingers are pressed to the side of my chin, forcing me to look over at him. Every time I think I cant take any more of this, one look into those eyes keeps me hanging on. They speak every word he doesn't tell me. Whether its that he's so mad, he's trying not to attack me and beat the shit out of me like he would to any of the boys that ignored him like I had, or if it was that he needs me to stay and not be afraid of him, his eyes said it for him. “I'll see you on Monday, yeah?” he mumbles softly once he knows that he's got my attention, and I give him a little nod. I had been worried he'd want to come inside. I didn't want him to see the way I lived. Even though the house looks like a crapper from the outside, he's not said anything about it, or even look surprised at all. “You have my number?” He asks, brushing some hair behind my ear as I nod again, his eyes still glued to mine before I look down. I hear a chuckle escape from his lips, and his fingers are back on my chin, guiding me back to his eyes again. “You call me if you need anything, okay? I don't care what time it is” he says, rising an eyebrow afterwards, as if he's asking me if I understand. I nod my head again, and the hint of darkness that had plagued his eyes disappears again. He just wants to keep me safe, even if that means having to be stern with me. “Good girl” He whispers, leaning over to my and pressing his lips to my forehead again. “Run along now, sweetheart. You know where to find me.”

The thunder rolls through the house, shaking at the windows and making them sound like they would shatter under the pressure at any second. It was Sunday night, 2.17 am and I was hiding under all the covers in my bed as the sky starts to roar yet again. Benson was sleeping soundly in the bed right next to mine, unaware of the war going on outside. I'd always been terrified of storms, ever since I was a little girls, except unlike most people, my fear never went away. I didn't want to wake my dad because he was so tired. He only gets one day a week off of a week, so he was exhausted. I knew he wouldn't be mad, but I feel like 18 is a little too old to be running to my parents bed because of a thunderstorm. Logan wouldn't mind either, but he was staying at Alana's tonight. Stupid cute relationships. I peak out from under the covers just long enough to grab my phone from where it lay on the floor by my bed, before snapping the covers back over my head as the room suddenly lights up with a loud crack, causing a whimper to fall from my lips. I scroll through my inbox until I see his message there from Friday night, and dial his number, holding the phone to my ear. I hope he isn't angry. I hope the soft Zayn picks up the phone, not the dark one. “'Madi? Babe, what's wrong?” He asks, sounding panicked but sleepy, in that morning voice I had only heard once before, but already loved. “I'm um...” I mumble in a whisper, trying to find the words to confess to one of the scariest people I have ever met in my whole life that I'm scared of the storm. “Babe, tell me” he urges me quickly, probably thinking I'm in an alley getting stabbed or something. “I'm scared of the storm.”

I hear a chuckle fall from his lips, and I frown a bit, thinking he's laughing at me. This is stupid. I shouldn't have even called him. Why did I think he would understand? “Of course you are. You're so cute” he mumbles, the smile evident in his voice as he talks. “Do you want me to come around?” He asks, and I can hear him moving around a bit, probably standing up from his bed. “Oh, no, that's okay. You don't need to do that” I whisper, shaking my head even though he can't see. “I'll be there in 10 minutes babe. Will you be okay until then? Or do you want me to stay on the phone while I drive?” he asks me as I can hear him moving around, and a little smile moves to my lips. “Stay on the phone please,”

I'm sitting out in front of the front door, my duvet blanket still wrapped around me as I wait for Zayn to arrive, still having our hushed conversation over the phone. I lean my back against the door, listening to him telling me a story about what him and the other lads had got up to today, knowing he was just trying to distract me. I was sitting outside because I didn't want to wake anyone up, but out here, everything was so much louder, and the rain was herder, and the lightening brighter. He tells me that he is pulling into my street before hanging up, and soon I see him park out the front then come running over to me. I had tears of terror running down my cheeks and he quickly gets out of his car before jogging towards me. He crouches down next to me, pulling me into his arms and holding me close to him, as he rocks me back and forth slightly. He's only wearing a pair of fat pants, and his chest is wet from the rain, but I don't mind at all. I feel safe with him. “Why are you outside baby? You'll get ill. C'mon love, lets get you inside” he mumbles in my ear before he easily picks me up, and opens the front door, shutting it behind him almost silently. “Where's your room love?” He whispers into my ear, his lips grazing across it. “We can't go there. I share a room with Benson and he's sleeping” I explain. Zayn nods before taking me to the living room and setting me down on the couch, shutting the door after we walk through it so we won't be so loud. I love how he's acting like this is such a big deal, even though it's just a thunderstorm. “Give me some blanket.” he says as he lays down on the couch, and I do, before he pulls me so I am laying on top of his chest, looking down at him. He wraps his arms around me and I let out another whimper as another round of thunder beats out the house, squeezing my eyes closed as I cower into his chest. “Shh baby girl. Shh, it's okay. It's not going to hurt you, I promise. I won't let it” he coos softly, running his finger through my hair as I feel his grip tighten on me. “You're okay babe. I've got you now. You're okay” he whispers, and continues to do so before I fall asleep in his arms.


	9. Chapter 9

I wake up the next morning, and feel my bed moving underneath me, which is pretty odd. I open my eyes, and instead of my sheets, I'm greeted with tattoos. That's when I remember the night before. I look up a bit more and see his face, dark eyes already open as he looks up at me. “Your dad's nice” he says, a smirk crossing his lips. Oh god, my dad saw us? Perfect. I blush, and try to sit up, but his arms only tighten around me, and a frown spreads across his lips. “We're you going?” He asks, furrowing his eyebrows. “School” I reply, trying to sit up again, making him admit a low growl. “Stay home today” he says, his arms getting tighter as I try to wiggle out of his grasps. I've wagged school before, but never with someone like him. I'd done it the first time when Dani broke up with her boyfriend one break time and couldn't handle being at school anymore, and when Benson's ill, but I don't think that really counts. “I can't skip...” I start, but I'm cut of by a low moan coming from Zayn's lips. I look up at him confused, only to see his eyes are closed, his chest rising and falling marginally faster than normal. “Shit baby, you're good with your hips” he groans, and I immediately stop trying to wiggle out of his grasp. Oh god. The blush is running over my cheeks in a spilt second and he lets out a chuckle, knowing exactly what effect he has on me. His eyes open, and they are dark, so dark, as he gives me a wink before releasing me from his arms and I quickly get off him and run upstairs.

 

I have a shower and get changed into a tight black crop-top, and a pair of pale blue, high wasted ankle biter jeans as well as a pair of docs I had borrowed from Dani. I can't find Benson, and after looking for him for ages, I find him sitting on the counter, eating a banana while he tells Zayn about something that had happened at day care. I smile a little bit as Zayn spreads peanut butter over a piece of toast and cuts it in half, handing half to Benny and taking a bit of the other side. “Madi!” Benny calls as he sees me and I smile, walking over and giving him a hug, watching as Zayn's eyes travel over me. “I'm going home to get ready. I'll see you soon though, yeah?” He says, as I pull back, his eyes glued to the exposed skin just above my tummy button. He walks closer to me, pulling me in for a hug, which I think is a very weird move coming from Zayn until I hear his low voice growling in my ear, quite enough so he knows Benson won't hear. “I don't want other guys seeing this” he tells me, trailing his finger tips over the exposed skin. He was over reacting. It's barely 10 centimetres of skin, and I wear stuff like this all the time. Arrogant arsehole. “You'll change before you come to school, yes?” he says lowly, pulling back and raising an eyebrow. We don't have time to argue, or rather for him to yell at me, so I just nod my head, figuring it would be easier this way. His eyes are so dark and he gives me a nod before kissing my forehead. “Good girl. I'll see you soon” he says. “See you Benny” he says, giving him a smile and I high five. “Bye bye, Zan.”

 

It's lunch time at school and up until now, I've managed to avoid Zayn all day. I knew he was such bad news. I know I have to stay away from him. I know that despite all his whispered promises, he will hurt me. He's too angry. The demons will win one day and he'll snap, and he's so much stronger than me, he could do anything to me that he wanted. Being around Zayn isn't healthy. It's like being in a prison with all his rules about what I can say, and what I can do and even what I can wear. I don't want to be around that. I know I'm innocent and naïve and he can ruin me. He would ruin me in a snap of his fingers for whatever this little game he's trying to play with me is. “Madalin” I hear someone say from behind me, and I know his voice straight away. Zayn. I don't turn around to see him, rather just stopping where I am and waiting for his ambush. “I told you to change” he growls, his eyes darker than I've ever seen them before as I take a step back, but he counters me by taking a step toward me. “Did I, or did I not tell you to change?” He growls taking another step closer as I take one back again. Shit. I see the rest of the lads, just standing there looking as I keep walking backwards slowly, him walking forwards. I stop suddenly when I hit the wall, my eyes wide as I look for a way to get out of here. How was this the same person who comforted me through the thunder last night?

 

“Answer me” he growls, his voice just as quiet as when he always talked to me, but holding so much anger. I give a quick nod, as he moves his hands to the wall on either side of my head, glaring down at me. “So why are you still wearing it?” he asks, but not in an inquisitive tone. It's like he's mocking me. Seeing how scared he can make me for his own sick pleasure. “I-I didn't have time” I stutter in a whisper, my voice not able to come out any louder. He lets out a low chuckle, amused at how terrified I am. I can't believe I took his bullshit about not wanting me to be scared of him. That's exactly what he wanted. I feel tears stinging at my eyes, but I try really hard not to cry in front of him because that's exactly what he wants me to do. He wants me to cry, and then he'll apologize and say he wasn't trying to scare me, and I'll fall into those eyes again and we'll be right back in one off our beds again. He stays there for almost a minute, glaring at me with a tight jaw as I stare at the ground, telling myself to harden up. I can hear his heavy breathing and he moves back suddenly, grabbing my wrist and pulling me off the locker before storming down the hallway. “Where are we going?” I ask, basically jogging to keep up with his massive strides. “Shut up” he growls, tightening his grasp on my wrist before I see him shake his head a little, as if reminding himself he can't do that to me, and his hand loosens again. This is well and truly dark Zayn, and I'm completely at his mercy.


	10. Chapter 10

He strides out the front door of school and I recognise his car as he pulls me toward it. This is not good. It's not good at all. He reaches in his pocket for the keys, and presses the button to unlock the car before opening the passengers door. “Get in” he says, not meeting my eyes and just staring across the car park. When I don't move, he bends down to my level and picks me up, putting me into the SUV, before leaning over me and doing up my belt and slamming the door, walking to the other side and getting in. I know there's no point in running. He would just catch me and he would be even more mad. In the other times I had seen him like this, he had tried to calm himself down, but this time he didn't. He was too far gone. “Zayn...” I try softly, hoping it would calm him down somehow, as if I could remind him it's me and he'll stop. He doesn't respond, instead turning the car off and pulling out way faster than he should, sending my hands to grasp anything they could so I didn't get tossed around like everything else in the car is. I've never been so intimidated, especially by someone who saw he would never hurt me. I didn't know if he would. By the lock in his eyes, this isn't even the same person who made these promises to me. He's completely different. He's that demon inside him.

 

The only sound the whole car ride is his heavy breathing, and the sounds of the car. It became apparent we were going to his house as I recognised some of the violent turns he took. That scared me, because his room was so far away from everything else. He could do whatever to me there and no one would ever know. He pulls up at his house still looking as angry as ever before he gets out of the car. I don't move, too scared of everything. He's going to beat me or something, I know it. He walks to my side and pulls the door open with such force, I swear it almost comes off the hinges. His eyes land on mine as I still don't move, and he groans out in annoyance before he undoes my belt and lifts me off of the chair. I can feel how tense he is underneath me, and it doesn't stop as he strides toward his bedroom. Oh god. I'm going to be killed by the man who I cuddled with last night. He unlocks the door, pushing it open before laying me on the bed. “What are the rules?” He growls, those being the first words he's spoken since he told me to shut up back at school. He puts me down, leaving me standing in the middle of the room before taking a step back so I could see just how angry he was. “Answer me Madalin” He says quietly through clenched teeth. His eyes are narrow, his fists balled at his sides. His chest is rising and falling faster the normal, and his lips are pressed together. “I... I uh, have to stay with you, and listen, and not say no and I-I'm yours” I stutter out quickly, hoping if I did as he said now he would calm down. “So why is it that you break everyone of these?” He asks, mocking me again. “Huh?” he teases, stepping closer to me again. “If you're so determined to show yourself, take it off” he says lowly, running his finger under the hem of my shirt. Oh goodness. “Zayn...” I whisper, my tone warning as I take a step away from him. His hand finds the small of my back, pulling my back to him again. He takes the bottom of my top, pulling it over my head and throwing it on the ground before I can stop him. “That's what you want, right? Everyone being able to see you?” he growls. I want to tell him that this is different. That wearing a crop top is not like no top at all, but my voice won't work. I'm too scared. His big hands find the button on my jeans and he quickly undoes them, pulling them down. “What're you doing?” I whimper, tears brimming in my eyes as I look away, trying to take a step back. He catches my chin in his hand, pulling my face back to look at him. “Why're you crying?” he asks, eyes still harsh as he raises an eyebrow. I don't answer straight away, but he tilts his head inquisitively. “I-I... you're scaring me” I whimper barely audibly as my eyes drop shut, and I feel the tears running down my cheeks. He stays still for a few seconds, seeming to consider his next move, before he picks me up again. I keep my eyes shut, too scared I will catch a glimpse in the darkness in his. I feel the softens of his bead underneath me, and all the worst things come to my mind. I keep my eyes shut, crying as I feel him leave the bed, only to return seconds later. I feel him take one of my wrists, and soon his soft lips are pressed against the inside of it, before I feel something tight and scratchy around it, and my eyes snap open. I see a length of rope tied around my wrist and my eyes widen as I try to pull my hand from his grip as I scamble to get away from him. “Stop, Madi, baby, stop” He says quickly, letting go of my wrist and cupping each of my cheeks with his big hands, forcing me to look into his eyes. They're still so dark, almost black. “Do you trust me?” He asks, looking deep into my eyes, his thumbs, swiping the tears off my cheeks. His question takes me by surprise. That's probably the last thing I would have expected him to say. I think about it for a second. Him running after me as I tried to get away, and then comforting me as I cried and fixing up my cuts. How quietly he always talks to me, and even now in his anger, he's never raised his voice. The way he talks to Benson and how he made him breakfast and how he came over a midnight when I was scared. I find my head nodding before I can think of anything else, because I think even though we had only just met, I did trust him. He looks into my eyes for a while longer, seeming to be exploring them, or almost lost in them. Even though this isn't the gentle Zayn, it's still him. I feel like I'm sitting next to a demon, an evil, dark spirit in a perfect, flawed body. “I won't hurt you. Just trust me.”

 

He pulls away from me when I nod, and tears are still trailing down my cheeks as I watch him finish tying that one wrist, before he brings it behind my head and loops the ropes around the bar on the bed head. He takes my other wrist, kissing over it before he brings it above my head too, tying it to the other end of rope. I try to pull on it, but he's secured me there. I can't get away. He pulls back once he sees I can't get away and his dark eyes travel over me. Soon, his finger tips join in and I close my eyes again. I kept telling myself to trust him, but the tears running down my cheeks didn't get the memo. “I thought you were a smart girl... that you would listen to instructions. But instead, you do the opposite.” He mumbles. I don't know why me not changing got him so mad. I had been ignoring him though, and I told him no when he tried to leave. I guess I did break all the rules. “I thought you were a good girl...” he continues, shaking his head, glancing back up at me. I know he could see me crying, but he didn't seem to care right now. He knew that I was safe, and that nothing would hurt me. He knew I had no reason to be crying, so he could let himself go. “I know you're a virgin.” He say, his voice dark. Everyone knew that. I was the trophy all the boys wanted to claim. Have the title of taking cute, little Madalin's virginity. Not like this though. I knew he wouldn't. I hoped he wouldn't. He keeps his big eyes on me as his hand travels further down, only drifting away as he reaches the top of my panties. I pushes them down a little to look at the love bite he had left there the other day, brushing his thumb over it with a smirk. He starts to tug them down, but I press my legs together, trying to stop him. He looks up at me, prying my legs back apart. “You want them left on?” He asks, confirming what he thought I must be doing, and I quickly nod. He nods a bit before looking down again, trailing his fingers up the inside of my thigh. I am frozen in fear beneath him, watching his every move with wide eyes. He moves back up again so he's hovering just above me, as I feel his fingers slipping into my panties. “Zayn...” “Shh” he hushes me softly as he moves his legs in between mine, then spreading his legs to get mine apart. I feel his finger brushing over my clit and my eyes get impossibly larger. “Has anyone touched you here before?” He asks in a whisper, his eyes glued to mine as I shake my head. “You're going to love this.” he mumbles. He trails his fingers downwards, lubricating them before coming back up, and rubbing circles over the sensitive nub. My mouth drops open as my eyes flutter closed. Oh my god, this is amazing. I hear a chuckle comes from his lips, as he picks up the pace, before his lips are pressed to my cheeks, kissing at the trail of tears from earlier. It was weird that we had never kissed, yet he was doing this to me. For me. I want to tell him how good it feels, but I can't manage to find the words but a moan falls from my lips instead. “I know baby. I know” he coos softly, as his lips trail down my neck. I feel him stop, and I let out a whimper before I feel one of his fingers enter me. Oh my word. He leaves it there, unmoving for a second, giving me some time to adjust to this foreign feeling, before he starts to move it in and out. Another moan falls from my lips. I've never felt anything remotely this good before and I'm loving every second on it. I feel him trying a few different ways of doing it before a shot of pure pleasure pulses through me, and my back arches of the bed. “That spot just there baby?” he mumbles and returns his finger to it, hitting it again and again as he thrusts his finger in. “I wanna touch you” I plead, pulling on the restraints as hard as I can, but that only makes them tighter around the tender skin. “No, you were naughty” he mumbles and I let out a loud moan, rolling my head to the side. “Baby, look at me” I hear him mumble, but it sounds do far off. I'm lost in the pleasure. I try to do as he says, rolling my head to look at him, but as he hits that spot again, it rolls away. I've got no control. He must realise this, because I feel his hand on my chin, guiding it back to look up at him, and he places a kiss on each of my eyelids. “Just open your eyes” he mumbles, and after a bit of a struggle, I manage to do it. Moans and whimers and leaving my mouth with every breath, and I'm greeted instantly with his eyes. My breathing is heavy as he leans his forehead against mine, him whispering encouragement for me to keep my eyes opens as the pleasure causes them to keep slipping closed. “Z-Zayn... my, my tummy” I whimper, my eyes wide at the unknown feeling in the pit of my stomach. “I know baby. You're going to cum. Just relax baby, I've got you.” he whispers, looking into my eyes still. “Uh, uh, eyes open” he reminds me again. “Zayn...” “Good girl baby, just relax.” he coos again, and I feel something creeping inside me, like I'm going to explode. “Z... D-daddy” I moan, surprised by the words coming from my own lips. I hear a groan come from his lips as my words seem to push something inside him, his hand only going faster, “I'm right here baby. Daddy's got you, You're okay baby.” He mumbles as I feel myself start to shake a tiny bit, my eyes widening as I unknown pleasure take me over, filling every peace of my entirety. My back arches off the bed, and in the distance, I can hear the familiar voice mumbling “Good girl.”


	11. Chapter 11

My breathing is heavy as I come back from the other world I had just entered, and my eyes are closed softly. I feel Zayn's hand in my panties trail over me before he pulls out. There's a moment of silence, and when I open my eyes slightly to see what he's doing, I see him with his eyes closed, sucking on his fingers. I watch him silently, curious about his actions. His eyes open, and he stares into mine. "Do you want a try?" He asks after removing his fingers from his mouth. I shake my head softly, and he doesn't respond, only dipping his hands back into my panties, and pulling it out a few seconds later. I can see that they're wet as his lips take them in again, a groan slipping from his lips. "You taste so fucking good" he tells me, making me blush as I look away from him. He's straddilig my waist, sitting on my hips. "You feel this?" He asks when he's finished, rolling his hips foward so I can feel a his stiff member pressing into my lower stomach, even through his jeans. I look back at him and give him a little nod. I thought we were done, but apparently not. "Can you help me with it?" He asks, and I'm not sure what he means, but I feel the curiosity taking me over. "I don't know how..." I tell him softly, and I can see his face change a little, his lips even turning up ever so slightly at the ends. "I'll show you."

He makes me promise to behave myself before he unites my wrists. He holds them in his big hands, placing kisses along the marks that had been left. "Does it hurt?" He asks, looking back up at me as his lips brush over the skin. I shake my head, and that satisfies him before he puts them down. He moves down a little bit on my legs before he starts to undo his pants. I sit up silently, and brush his hands away, undoing them for him. I can feels his eyes on me, but I just continue, and he stands so I can slip them down his legs. I fold them up, leaning over and placing them on the ground before I sit back up. I think he knows from my reaction before, I want all underwear kept on, so he doesn't push the matter, as my eyes travel over the black, silk like material, that are tight, and straining to hold their contents. His fingers are under my chin, guiding me up to look at him, as I tear my eyes off the buldge. He takes the bottom of his shirt, raising an eyebrow, silently asking if I wanted him to take it off. I give him a nod and the thin material disappears in one swift movement. This isn't the first time we have seen each other in our underwear. The first day we met we had, courtesy of Zayn's wandering hands and assertive ways. He lets my eyes travel over him, taking in all the different scars of perfection as he sits quietly, his chest rising and falling steadily. After a few minutes, I feel his lips against my forehead, and I take that as my cue to start. I could have just stared at him for hours, studying ever centimeters of his darkened skin. I look up at him, and there's a smile playing on his lips. He's been watching me. He takes my hand, lacing his fingers through it from behind, so that his palm is pressed into the back of mine. "I've never done this with a girl before" he admits softly, his voice sounding deeper and raspier. He guides our hand down to his boxers, and lays it on his buldge softly. The feeling is so weird under my hand, I pull my hand back, then blush a bit. "Sorry" I mumble. "No baby. It's okay, try again" he says back, bringing my hand up and kissing the palm before returning it to his boxers. I don't pull away this time, but the feeling is still weird.

He starts to push down, and I look up at him to see his eyes flickering closed, as his mouth is slightly agape. He helps me with he movements for a while longer, before taking his hand away and leaving me to continue by myself. I'm glad he didn't except me to go inside his boxers, since I'm not sure if I am ready for that just yet. "Go a bit harder" he says, and as I do as he says, I'm rewarded by a moan from deep in his throat. I want to hear that sound again. I watch as his heads falls back, and I reach up as I continue, holding his head back up. He opens his eyes to look at me, before leaning his forehead to mine a closing his eyes again. His skin is clammy and his hands reach around my back. "Talk to me. I need your voice" he begs lowly, as he's breathing heavily. "Call me daddy again" he adds, his head falling to the crook of my neck as he starts to suck softly. "What do you want me to talk about daddy?" I ask in a whisper, as my words force a groan from his lips. "Anything, I just need your voice" he says, his tone pleading. I start to tell him about how what he was doing to me before made me feel, and he seems to like it, encouraging me to continue. "Baby girl, I'm going to cum" he moans suddenly. "Oh, um.... what do I do?" I ask, unsure of how this kind of thing works. "J-just keep going. D-don't stop" he stutters out, and I am in awe as I watch the strongest , scariest person I know, come undone and become weak before my eyes


	12. Chapter 12

As soon as I saw Dani the next day at school, I told her everything that had happened at Zayn's yesterday. I felt dirty and angry at Zayn or having me do that. He knows how innocent I am, and he used it as a punishment. I hadn't minded at the time, mostly because it felt so incredibly amazing, and watching him was unlike anything I've seen before. But now, after I had all night to dwel on it, I was mad at him. I knew he probably wouldn't hurt me, no matter how mad he got, so I was going to talk to him about it. I'm aloud to get mad too, not only him.

I don't see him until lunch, which only gives me even more time to amp myself up to have a go at him. I was talking to my friends when I feel a pair of hands snaking around my waist, and someone leaning their chin against the top of my head before they pull me away from the group. "Get off me" I say angryly when we get further away, since I didn't want to do this in front of my friends. "Relax baby girl, It's just me" he mumbles, obviously thinking that I thought it was someone else. He moves around to stand in front of me, leaning against a locker and wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me close to him. "I know it's you, stop touching me please" I mumble, trying to push his hands away. My stupid voice was still all soft and sweet, even though my heart was beating a thousand miles an hour while I wait for him to get angry and do something to me. I work up the courage to look up at the dark eyes that we're getting more familiar, and I met with the furrowed brows of a confused boy. "Whats wrong?" He asks

Zayn's point of view:   
I didn't get it. She hadn't been mad at me yesterday. She even stayed in bed with me for hours just cuddling. I'm not sure how I managed to make my sweet little girl so mad. This wasn't her. The Madalin I knew would never speak to me like this, which I why I knew something was wrong. "You..." she starts, but seems to lose her courage, which is a welcome sign that my girl is still in there. "Go on baby" I urge her, pulling her closer despite her efforts to get away. "You can't do what you did to me yesterday. You can use my... virginity as punishment." She says softly, looking down at her feet as a blush settles on her cheeks. She's embarrassed. She doesn't look so angry anymore. She looks more hurt, like I humiliated her or something. "Did I hurt you?" I ask, worried that's what her change in opinion was based on. I knew it was her first time, and I had tried to be gentle, but fuck, when she called me daddy, I couldn't help myself. "No, no. You didn't hurt me. I'm okay" she assures me, as I reach up, gently tapping her chin to remind her she has to look at me. Her soft blue eyes meet mine, and it calms me instantly, even though I'm still not sure what's going on here. "You can't use my inexperience as a punishment" she says again, just as sweet as ever. "That's not what I was doing" I say back, and even I can pick that my voice sounds different than normal. Its soft and gently, as I try to calm her down. I can't be mad if she's not okay. "Yes you were" she says back, showing off her stubborn streak. I knew I could beat her though. "No baby doll, I wasn't. I wouldn't do that, Not to you." I honestly don't know why I'm still here. Any other girl I would have told her to get fucked. I'm not meant to care about their feelings, but I can't help it with her. I crave to know her feelings. I need to know what's going on behind those eyes, and what she's thinking when she won't look at me. I need to know her fears and her weaknesses, and more than anything I need to figure out what makes her smile and be that. I'm turning into a fucking pussy, but I don't care. If that's what gets her to put up with my shit, I will be a fucking pussy.

"I just... you used me and made me do it" she says softly, her voice sounding like she'd cry any second. Fuck, this wasn't meant to happen. She was meant to know that if she listened to me, and did as I say and trusts me, and I can make her feel amazing. That's what she was meant to learn, but now she thinks I'm a douche. "No, no, no baby girl, that's not it at all" I plead softly. Fuck, what am I doing. Mking a fool of myself in front of everyone at school for this girl that I haven't even fucked yet. It gets her to meet my eyes though, so it's worth it. "Trust me baby, it wasn't about using you or forcing you into anything. It was to show you to trust me and I'd take care of you, and I did, yeah?" I mumble quietly, bent down a bit so I'm eye to eye with her as I cup her cheeks. Her eyes are wide as she looks at me, and I know it's because this is a side of me she's not seen a lot of. She thinks I'm always in control, but she's seeing I need her. She nods her head softly, and I place a kiss on her forehead. "And you know you liked it, love. Your moaning was driving me insane" I add, a smirk creeping onto my lips as she blushes and dips her eyes away from mine, making me chuckle. 

Madalin's point of view:  
Just like that, he goes back to his normal self. The arrogant douche of a man who had me wrapped around his finger. I swear he could kill my whole family, and talk me into forgiving him. That soft side of him is what a need. The one who cuddles and talks to me softly, the one who whispers songs in my ear at parties like we're the only ones there, and carries me home when I'm hurt. If I got to get a little bit of time with him every so often, I could handle the other Zayn's. And hopefully, if I followed the rules more, I would get more of him


	13. Chapter 13

After getting ready for school the next morning, Zayn has me send a picture of what I'm wearing to him so he can make sure it's okay. He says my light purple dress is a bit short, but I don't have time to change it, so just wear it to school anyway. When Logan and I pull up outside of school, there's a big circle of people just to the side of the entrance. There's yelling and swearing, and everyone looks pretty excited. Logan raises an eyebrow at me as he locks the car, before we jog across the car park to investigate. My white converses reach the grass area, and I go on my tippy toes to try to see what's going on, but it's hopeless because I'm too short. Most people like me, so when I ask, they let me through. When I'm almost at the front, I freeze as soon as I see the tan, tattooed arm come in contact with the boys jaw. I can't see his face, only his black hair, as he has the other boy pinned to the ground, smashing him in the head again and again. I gasp, my hands flying to my moth as I watch Zayn beat this kid. He looks about Zayn's size, maybe even bigger, but he's clearly no match any more.

In the violent snap of his head, his amber eyes are now on my teary ones, and I can see how angry he is. He looks just as angry as he did in the crop top fiasco the other day, but this time, he's aloud to hurt someone. His fist is frozen mid air, all movements seized as he waits. Waits to see what I'll do. I'm sure she thinks I'm going to go running in there and tell him to stop punching him. Aaron I think his name is. He's a total douche. Always touching girls bums and being really rude, but I don't think he deserves this. Insted I just turn on my heel and quickly make my way back through the crowd. People part for me, and I hadn't realised everyone had gone quiet, just watching Zayn and I interacting silently. I had seen what happens when he loses his temper. And I know I myself have got him dangerously standing my on the very edge all too many times. He could do that to me so easily. There wasn't a single bit of regret in his black eyes.

"Madalin" I hear him call behind me, but I only walk faster. I know he's running, and he's going to catch me any second, but I just need to keep moving. Every time I blink I see his hand connecting with the boys face again. Mercilessly. Aaron was almost unconscious, but Zayn kept punching. "Madi"he repeats, much closer this time. Seconds later I feel his fingers around my wrist, stopping me. I try to pull away from him desperately, terrified of what he could do to me. I knew he was already angry, and I didn't want to face that. "Stop it" he sighs, tugging on my arm so I'll come back to him. In all his amped up excitement, and the force he'd just been using, he must have forgotten about being gentle with me. His swift tug pulls me backwards, making me stumble to the ground after his failed attempt to catch me. I let out a whimper at force, and he quickly lets go, his eyes wide as he looks at me on the ground, trying to comprehend what he'd done. "Shit. No, no,no" I hear him mumble as I try to scramble away from him. "Baby, please. Im sorry, I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to hurt you" he pleas, but stays were he is as I get back to my feet. I know he promises not to hurt me, but he can't help it. He can't control the dark side. He can't promise not to hurt me. 

Zayn watches me back away from him, stumbling over my own feet as I try to get away from the monster. He runs his fingers through his hair, tugging on the end and letting out a frustrated groan. He won't let himself move of his spot. He won't let himself come to comfort me, come beg for me to forgive him because he's just as scared as I am. He doesn't know what just happened, I can see it in his eyes. Insted he just watches me run away, before letting out a agonizing yell, and connecting his already bleeding dust with the brick wall of the school.

I go home after that, laying on my bed as I run my fingers over the bruises on my wrist. 5 little spots, where the pads of his fingers clung to me. 7 o'clock that night, I'm standing in the kitchen, washing the dishes after dinner. I generally did he cooking and cleaning around home. Not because the boys made me, bit because dad didn't get home till almost 10 at night, and left at 6 in the morning, Logan tutored till quite late to earn extra money to help with bills, and Benson... well, he's 3. My phone starts to buzz in my back pocket, telling me someone is calling. I grab a dish cloth and dry off my hands before answering the call. "Hello?" I ask, not knowing who it is, since my phone is so old it doesn't have caller ID. "Baby girl?" I hear a voice ask, deeper than usual, and a noticeable slur. "You there baby?" He asks again, since I hadn't replied, too busy contemplating whether or not to hang up. "Yeah?" I ask with a sigh, leaning back against the counter. He hadn't called me before, so I guess whatever he needed was important. "Can you please come over?" He asks softly, and I don't know why, but even after what he did to day, something about his sleepy voice when he asks it makes me want to drop everything and go to him. "Why?" I ask Insted. I was fairly certain he was drunk, but he sounded adorable, slurring slightly, and obviously very tiRed. "Please? " he repeats insted of giving me a real answer. I sigh and run my fingers through my hair softly, considering it. "Fine" I mumble, before hanging up. The only reason I'm doing it is because he came round in the thunder storm, and I'm returning the favour. At least that's what I keep telling myself. 

When I knock on the small out house door, there's rain pouring down. Bless the lovely UK weather. When I wait fir almost a minute in the torrential rain, and there's still no answer, I figure he must be asleep or something. As I turn to leave, I hear the creek o the door opening. I can see instantly he's drunk, but his face changes as he sees me, soaked and shivering. "Come I here" he mumbles, swaying as he stands on the spot, but still worried about me. He reaches out his hand, and I shake my head softly, tell if him I didn't want to hold it. His knuckles were split open and bleeding. He frowns, dropping his hand and stepping aside so I can come in. He obviously thinks I didn't want to hold his hand because of earlier. If only he knew he's got me wrapped around his finger now more than ever. When I step inside however, hes back next to me in a second, trying to pull my top of. "Zayn..." I warn him, swatting his hands away. I knew I shouldn't have come. I was just letting him use me as a sex toy, but I had this stupid idea in my head he might actually need me. Zayn Malik, the biggest scariest guy in my world, could possibly need little Madalin. But it's obvious he only wanted me here to get me in his bed. I'm so dumb. I look up at him to see him frowning, and he tries again, but I respond the same way, moving away from him. "You'll get sick" he slurs, clutching to the cabinet so he won't fall as he looks at me with worried eyes. He's not trying to sleep with me, he's trying to look after me. My heart gets butterflies, and I nd softly, understanding what he was trying to do know. I take my shirt off, and his frown finally disappears when I'm covered back up with one of his hoodies. "Are you..." he starts, interrupted by a hiccup, which seems to give him a fright and he slips, knocking some pictures of his cabinet before regaining hi balance. "Are you warm?" He tries again, and I nod softly. He can barely stand, and isnt even that coherent, by he's still worried about me. He finds a pair of flannel pants on the ground, and hands them to me, before falling on the ground. Insted of getting back up, he just stays down there as I tug my wet jeans down. His hands find the thick material as it gets lower down my legs, and he helps me pull them off before I put on his pants. They're much too big for me, but they're warm. I go to his bathroom, and get he Tupperware box of first aid stuff I had seen when I feel in the park before coming back and sitting next to him on the ground. "I'm sorry that I hurt you" he whispers, watching me intuitively as take his hand, inspecting his knuckles. Something tells me he's been in more than one fight tonight. I shake my head softly to tell him not to worry about it. 

"I wanna see your eyes" he slurs, his head lent back against the wall as I cover up a cut on his leg. "I need to look at this" I mumble , paying attention to what I was doing. "I know. I'll be patient" he mumbles softly. "Aaron kept touching my sister" he says after along time of silence. "I told him to stop, and he said he'd Fuck her...""Shhh" I hush him softly, since he was getting himself worked up again. I couldn't handle a drunk, angry Zayn. "And then I saw you. And I didn't want you to be scared of me, so I couldn't hit him while you were there" he continues. "Its okay Zayn. " I tell him, finishing up before looking up at him. As soon as out eyes meet, he smiles. "Theres my girl" he mumbles happily, all anger from seconds earlier, long forgotten. "Lets get you to bed" I mumble, trying not to take it too seriously that he called me His girl. "You're staying with me. Its a rule" he mumbles, scared that I'd leave. I nod my head and get him changed, before getting him into his bed, and falling asleep myself on the chair in He corner of the room, since I couldn't make up my mind about the boy in the bed


	14. Chapter 14

I wake up the next morning to the sunlight poring in the two windows in the small box that Zayn Malik calls his room, and instantly regret not closing them last night. My eyes adjust to the light, and I look around the room. "Why're you over there?" I deep voice grumbles, in the morning voice I adore. I jumped a bit, because I had kind of forgotten he was there, but when my eyes meet his, my heart flutters as always. "I asked you why your over there" he repeats, and I already know he's in a bad mood. This should be fun. "I uh..." I start, stuttering over my words. "I didn't want to disturb you" I say quietly, which wasn't really a lie. I didn't really want to disturb myself either. But I left out that part. "Bullshit. Come here" he says, not even considering my story for a second. Before I can even think about it, I feel my feet softly padding across the carpet to his bed. When I get to the side of his bed, he doesn't move over though, and I'm a bit confused. Does he want me to climb over him, or just stand here awkwardly? I'm pulled from my thoughts when his hands tug at my pants, trying to pull them down. I grab the opportunity of them quickly, and he lets out a growl before tugging them harder, pulling his plaid pants off of me. He then rolls over so I can get in, and I sigh, it do what I know I expected to. I'm turning into his little robot. His arms wrap around me the instant I'm near him, which I think is quite cute until he starts to pull of my top. "Zayn.." I whine quietly, trying to push his hands away. He's not a bar of any of this today though, and he swats my hands away, before pulling off his top. 

After 10 or so minutes of me laying there awkwardly, my eyes find a clock n his bed side table. "Shit Zayn, we gotta ho to schooll!" I let out in a panic, sitting up, but only to have him slam be back down against the bed again. I don't even know why he's so angry. "Zayn, you don't have to, but I'm going to school" I tell him, trying my best to sound assertive. "What are the rules Madalin?" He lets out through gritted teeth. I sigh softly, knowing this was his way of telling me to shut up. "I asked you what your fucking rules are Madalin! Answer me, damn it! " He yells, which scares the shit out of me. He's never yelled before, or even raised his voice at me. He always soft and gentle, but now he's stripped me down to my bra and panties and is yelling at me. The sound alone makes me tear up, and I quickly stutter out the rules. "I-I have to s-stay with you, not say no, listen t-to you and I'm yours" I tell him quickly, and I can make out my voice shaking, so he must be too. He pushed me to the ground yesterday, and now he's yelling at me. He's not safe for me to be around. I had been clinging to the hope it would get better, but he can't control it.

Seconds after I finish telling him the rules, I hear a sigh escape his lips, before his forehead is leant against my back. "I'm sorry baby, I shouldn't have yelled." He apologies in a whisper, already knowing it was to late though. I was already scared. I'm sure he could feel how tense I am in his arms, as he places a few soft kisses on the back of my shoulders. "Roll over so I can see those pretty eyes" he mumbles, just as softly as ever, and I know he's trying to stay calm. He's trying to show me the other side of himself. He knows when he's gentle and soft with me, I can't stay away. "Ata girl" he mumbles as I slowly roll over, not wanting to disobey him and get him madder. "Your eyes baby" he mumbles, tapping my chin softly so I'll look up. I do as he says, and I'm not sure whether it's the sight of my eyes, or my damp cheeks that makes his face soften even more. His hands meet my cheeks, carefully brushing away the tears. This boy was harder to follow than anyone else I've ever met. His mood swings are insane. "Are you scared? Don't lie to me" he whispers, kissing my forehead, then my cheek before I nod softly. "I'm sorry. It's the hang over love, my head is pounding" he mumbles, and I nod my head softly. I believed him because he never ever would normally yell at me. I roll out of bed and get some pain relief from his first aid box before coming back and getting in bed. "Thank you" he mumbles, taking with a glass of water, before his arms return to my waist. "You're still scared" I whispers, and I can see the regret in his eyes. I know he would take it back if he could. I nod my head softly to tell him I was. I didn't want to talk and have my voice cracking and shaking again. "Did I hurt you yesterday?" He asks so incredibly quietly that I almost miss it all together. My eyes drop down, and I hear his sigh. "Show me?" He asks quietly, obviously taking my lack of an answer as I yes. I don't move for a few seconds, but I feel his nose brush against mine to get my attention again. "I'll find it myself if you won't show me" he mumbles, kissing the edge of my lips softly. I sigh and take one of my wrists from under the covers, showing it to him. He takes it gently in his two bigger hands, looking at the marks from his hands only testerdat. I find he courage to look up at him as he presses incredibly soft kisses to it. "You have to know I wasn't trying to hurt you. Adrenaline was pumping, and I just wanted you to turn around. I never meant to be rough with you, I swear it. Not with you" he whisper in a rush, and I realise he's trying to get me to forgive him. He's so stupid. I forgave him the second I saw how horrified he was by himself from doing it. "You know me baby girl, you know I wouldn't. ..." he continues, trying to convince me, His eyes desperately searching mine. "Its okay Zayn. You didn't mean it" I whisper, cupping his cheek softly, and his eyes close at my gently touch, a soft breath escaping his lips. He acts like this is the most pleasure he's ever been in, and I can almost feel the relief that I had done this. "No one's gentle with me, but you" he whispers after a long time of my thumb aimlessly skimming over his cheek bone.

I eventually convince Zayn to get up and have a shower, which only leaves him to trying to convince me to get in with him. When he gets back out, he gets dressed. He looks at me, already to go to school, but I realise he's in a clean pair of boxers and nothing else. "Where are you going? Get back in bed" He says, standing in front of me and walking me backwards slowly until my legs hit his bed, and I fall back onto it. "Good girl"


	15. Chapter 15

He looks down at me as I lie on his bed, and gives me a smile. Not a forced smile, or a wicked smile. A real genuine smile like he was actually happy. I can't help it but feel the edge of my lips pulling up to smile back at him which only makes his bigger before he kneels down in front of me. I sit up to look at what he's doing, and I see him untying my shoes, and carefully taking them off and laying them next to each other by his bed. I see him smile again, even though he won't look up from my feet, as he sees me socks. They were black with little red lady bugs all over them. He picks one of my feet up, and kisses my ankle softly before slidding off my sock and stuffing it in my shoe. As he carefully lowers it to continue his undressing, he spots something on my skin before bringing my foot back up, looking at something on the bottom of it. "Whats this from?" He mumbles, glancing up at me before looking back down and running his thumb over a scar on the soul of my foot. "I stood on a broken beer bottle" I tell him quietly. I was somewhat fascinated by what he was doing. He nods his head softly, before looking back up at me. "You got anymore little secrets hiding on you?" He asks, smirking a bit. I'm not sure why, but it makes me blush before I shrug my shoulders. I knew I had a few scars from different shenanigans, but I was too interested to see what he was going to do. "Lay back. I'll find them."

Zayn's reached my knees in his search of my body. He says he's doing it because peoples body's keep stories, and he wants to get to know me. When I tell him I think it's just so he can kiss me everywhere, he only laughed and shrugged. His lips we're trailing just behind his fingers. He gets a bit higher up my thighs, pushing my dress up higher so he can keep going. Hes too consumed by what he's doing to even glance up at me anymore. He's now laying between my legs, his head resting on one of my legs while he kisses the other, and looks over every piece of skin. Every so often he mumbles something under his breath. I can't make out most of it, but I have heard the words beautiful and perfect. I can't help but feel this is more intimate than anything we've done before. As he moves over my panties, he presses a kiss to the fabric, before moving on. He's not in a sexual frame of mine. He's just inquisitive. 

When he gets to the side of my hips, he stops and pulls back to get a better look at something. I know exactly what he's looking at, and it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. "I don't wanna do this anymore" I mumble, pulling my dress down. He looks up at me, almost as if he had forgotten that I was there. That he wasn't looking at a human body. "No, no. Baby, stop. You've got nothing you need to hide, I promise. Lay back down for me beautiful. You're so perfect" he mumbles quickly, and he almost sounds fearful that I'll leave. I was blushing like crazy, and I couldn't even look at him, and he knows exactly what made me this. "It's only stretch marks baby. You grew fast, you can't help it." He adds on when I don't respond. I had always hated them. I wore high waisted bikinis so they stay hidden, but he found them. "Lay down baby girl. You've got nothing to worry about. C'mon baby" he continues, stay lay down where he was and waiting for me. He takes his hand, linking his fingers through mine as he patiently waits. Eventually I lay back down, and I can see a small smile on his lips. "Good girl. It's only me baby, nothing to be afraid off" he whisper before continuing, and I know that he means that my secrect is safe with him.

After working his way up to my forehead, then having my roll over onto my tummy, he was now hovering over my bum. "C'mon, let me take them off" he pleads for the forth time, moving up so I can see him. "Are you going to kiss my bottom?" I ask, not being able to help my smile. He was being so lovely, and almost playful which is a side of him I didn't really know was there. "Most likely" he tells me with a nod, smiling back at me. "It's just your bum love, everyone's got one." He points out, brushing some hair behind my ear on the side that wasn't pressed against the pillow. I think about it for a second before sighing. "Fine" I groan, and he smiles wide and pecks the end of my nose before going back to his previous position. "But if you look at anything else..." I start to warn him, but he just sushes me. "I can only look at you arse. Got it" he nods, before pressing a kiss to the small of my back. "You like it there, don't you?" He asks softly, before running his tongue over it. "You get goosebumps" he informs me. I guess he is getting to know my body, because I did like it. "I'll add it to the list" he mumbles, and I can hear the smirk in his voice. He moves down a bit more before taking the hem of my underwear between his fingers and carefully pulling it down my legs. After that he stays still for a while, but I can't see what he's doing. Soon enough, his fingers join in, and his lips sortly after. He pays a lot more attention to my bum than most other places, but stops abruptly when he sees another scar. He's already learnt the stories behind the one on my foot, the one on my arm I got from falling off my bike, the one just back from my hairline from where I tripped and hit my head, and now he saw this one. It follows the curve of my bum, and he feels the need to trail it with his tongue. "What's this one from?" He asks quietly, kissing across it while he waits for my answer. "Logan and I were running around and Logan had some scissors and he fell and cut me." I explain, and I can feel his lips curl up in a smile, obviously amused by the story. When hes finished, he puts my panties back on for me, before appearing next to me, a small smile still on his lips. I look at the clock and see that Zayn's little exercise had taken almost 2 hours. "Did I find them all?" He asks, and I nod my head softly. "Told you I would" he smirks, wrapping his arm around me as I lay my head on his chest


	16. Chapter 16

My eyes snap open to the sound of my phone ringing, and I quickly scramble to get it before it wakes up Benson. In my rush, I catch a glimpse of the clock which reads 3.17, before grabbing my phone, and pressing the little green phone button so it will stop ringing, before looking at Benson. He stirs slightly but is still asleep, thank God. I pull the covers over my head before bringing the phone to my ear. "...ou there Madi?" I catch, knowing it was him straight away. "Yeah" I whisper, wondering what he could possibly want at 3 in the morning. "Baby, daddy needs you" he mumbles, his voice sounding a bit strained. I furrow my eye brows, having no idea what he's talking about before it hits me. Shit. "Zayn..." I warn him quietly, since this is not happening, but I'm only rewarded with a staggered breath from his lips. That's when I realise what he's doing and my eyes widen. "Zayn, are you..." "Mhm. Help me out baby. Touch yourself for daddy" he says, slowly. Holy shit his voice. "Benson's right..." "I don't care" he says, cutting me off again. He can't honestly expect me to do this. I've never even done this before. He must realise that the silence is me thinking it through. "Go to the living room and shut the door. Just like we d-did the night of the storm" he tells me, His voice a bit softer, but still demanding. "Okay daddy" I whisper, a groan leaving his lips as soon as he hears me say it. "Good girl."

I'm sitting cross legged on the couch, with all the doors closed so I can talk to him without anyone hearing. "Fuck baby. What's would do to you if you were with me" he says, and I blush softly. "Are you touching yourself yet? I need you to make a tiny bit of noise" he pleads. He knows I don't want to wake anyone, since I told him a million times, but he wants something to get off to. "I... I um, I don't know how" I whisper, and I hear him sigh. "I'm sorry" I mumble, feeling like I had let him down. "It's okay. I just forget how innocent you are" he mumbles, speaking easier now so I presume he's stopped. "I'll teach you" he says, the smirk clear in his voice. "No thank you , I'm okay" I tell him quickly, not really wanting to do it. "Put a blanket over your lap" he tells me, ignoring what I had said and for some reason I do it. "Zayn, I really don't want to." "Put your hand into your panties." "Zayn, I'm not...." "Madalin. Follow the rules and be a good girl" he tells me, making me frown a bit, but I do as he says because I don't want him to yell or get mad. "Okay" I mumble sadly, before I hear him chuckle. "You trust me right baby? I won't let you do anything you're not ready for. Do what I tell you and you'll love it. Now you should feel I little bump type thing. Do you feel it?" He asks, his voice still soft and demanding. "Mhm" I hum. "Rub it" he says, and I sigh again before doing what he says. Damn it, he's right again and it does feel good. I let out a shaky breath, and I can hear him move around a bit before he's back to moaning again in a few seconds. "Daddy, it doesn't feel like when you do it" I whine softly, since I want it to feel that good. He told me I'm to only call him daddy right now. "I know baby, I'm sorry. Tomorrow night, I pronise" he coos softly. He had to go out somewhere tonight, he wouldn't tell me where though. I let out a barely auditable whimper, but I wasn't going to be any louder. Zayn was moaning loudly on the other line, but he didn't have to worry about his family hearing him. "Pretend it's daddy's fingers." He offers and I closing my eyes and pretending. "Harder Daddy" I whisper, knowing he'll like it. "Fuck. Yes baby, just like that. Daddy's going to Fuck you so hard you won't walk for weeks" he mumbles, and for some reason that disgusting talk gives me butterflies. "I'm going to come baby girl. Come with daddy" he tells me and I nod even though he can't see. I hear him coming undone, and I do the same, only much quieter. When he finishes all I can hear is his loud breathing. "Such a good girl" he whisper, and I can hear the smile in his voice.


	17. Chapter 17

Dani and the rest of my friends were all complaining that I hadn't been spending a lot of time with them lately, which is true. I've been spending so much time with Zayn. I can't say no to him though. So when they all show up at my house at 4 the next day telling me that we are all going to a party together, I say yes. I love going to party with my girls, and I can really let lose. Not like when I'm with Zayn. Dani declares that tonight is a Zayn free zone, and I must go crazy to get rid of all the stress. 

I end up wearing one of Dani's little black dresses. Its tight at the top, and flowy at the bottom and is really quite short. I know Zayn would never approve but I don't give a shit what Zayn thinks. He's not in charge of me. I've barely even talked to him all day anyway. I wear black heels to match my black dress, and the girls do my hair and make up. Its 8 when we finish, and we are all standing in front of the mirror in our small bathroom. "We look hot." One of my girls say, and we all nod. We did look really hot. We do some finishing touches, and leave home at 8.45, all piling into Dani's car. Since there's 8 of us, we have to sit on each others laps so we can all fit in. Pulling up at the party, you could see straight away it was going to be massive. I feel the complete opposite of how I felt when I pulled up with Zayn. I was scared but now I'm excited.

As we walk into the massive house, I hear people whistling and cat calling straight away. A blush creeps onto my cheeks before I look down. Even though this happened around school, with boys doing stuff like this, it still made me blush every time. A boy from the football team, Ollie walks up to me, bending down so I'll see him as I look at the ground. "I'm glad you finally shook of Malik. The rest of us need a bit of Madi too" he says with a smirk and I look up at him. I was about to tell him that I haven't got rid of Zayn at all, as if I even could, but I stop myself. Its a Zayn free night, so insted I just smile and nod my head. Two other boys walk up to us, holding cups for all of us, and the pass them around. "Skull 'em girls" Ollie says, and we all kind of look at each other to see of we think we should. "Fuck it. See you on the flip side girls" Dani says, before bringing her cup to her lips. We all follow her, skuling down the contents of the cup. Its really rather strong, and it burns at my throat, but when I get to the bottom, I take the cup from my face and see all the other girls still drinking. The boys all cheer and give me hugs, and it's kind of the last moment of the night I was myself. 

After a little while, the drink started to get to me, and I knew I was pretty tipsy. Dani and I were on the dance floor, jumping around and dancing, while guys tried to grind on us. I didn't really mind though. I just wanted to dance with my best friend. I was on my forth drink now, and people just seemed to keep filling up my cup, which is quite nice of them. "I'm going to take a break" I say to Dani, basically yelling in her ear to be heard over the music. She nods and mouths me too, and we weave through the crowd, much to the disappointment of the boys. We are on our way to the kitchen to get more drinks, when something stops me in my tracks. Its Zayn. He sitting on the couch, lookig as gorgeous as ever, but his eyes aren't on me. His eyes aren't even open because he's making out with the slut that's sat on his lap. I don't know if that thing she's wearing can even classify as a dress. It covers like, half her bum, and is backless. Zayn doesn't seem to care though. I feel my eyes tearing up, but I can't pull them away from the horror I'm watching. I feel someone tug on my arm, and I turn to see Dani. I can tell she's seen it too. She told me this would happen. Her eyes are soft, and she gives me a quick hug. "Let's get smashed."

I was on my seventh drink now, and completely off my face, but having the best time. I'm glad Zayn's gone and not obsessed with me anymore. That means I can come to parties like this every weekend. I was playing beer pong with 3 boys from school, and I'm pretty sure they're all just trying to get me as drunk as possible. When the game finally ends, I've had a lot of shots, and I can't even walk straight, hanging onto a boys arm as he leads me around, not that I've got any idea where he's taking us. As we walk past the dining room, someone calls my name, and I turn to see a bunch of boys with cheeky little smirks on their lips. "Mads, come do a body shot" one calls. The guy I'm holding onto chuckles and I look up at him with a smile. "I don't know what it is" I tell him, my voice quite slurry as I lean my head onto his bicep. "Its fun, I promise. C'mon" 

I was standing in front of the table now as people chant "Madi!" Over and over again. The boys explain to me what a body shot is and I nod my head, telling them I would do it as I stumble over my own feet while standing still. They all cheer loudly, and I hold onto one of their hands to keep me upright while another moves behind my back and unzips my dress. I had black bra and panties on and I hear him mumble a curse word which makes me blush. Between the two of them, the manage to get my dress off without me falling over, and I can't help but notice boys taking photos of me in my underwear and heels. I sit on the table while the get some other things ready, and that's when I seem him. 

Zayn's point of view:

I had heard people chanting 'Madi' over and over again, but I shook the worries out of my head, since my Madi wouldn't be here. There was some girl sat on my lap, and I didn't even know her name, but I didn't really mind. She was hot. Sure I had Madi, but she doesn't see us anything serious. Why would she? Madi can have any guy she wants. I had to do this with this girl to try to stop how seriously I thought about my innocent little girl, because there's no way she'd feel it back. "Your girls about to do a body shot" I hear the deep voice of Harry tell me, and I look up at him, and can't help but notice the tightness of his pants. "What?" I ask, my full attention on him now. "No I'm not silly, I'm right here" the girl on my lap says in my ear, biting the ear lobe. "Shut up" I tell her, since I really didn't care about her. "Madilin, they've got her striped down and she's..." he couldn't even finish his sentence before I was up, walking to the big crowd of people, knowing that they were all staring at my girl. I didn't even know she was here. Harry tells me the rest of the lads are already here, and I nod, taking that as him saying if I wanted to fight anyone, they were all there to help. I push my way through the crowd, and I couldn't figure out what I was feeling. I was pissed off at her for doing this, and at the guys for doing this, but I knew she wouldn't normally do this, so something must be up which made me worried. I stop when I see her sitting on the table in only her little black panties and her bra and see boys taking photos of her. What fucking perverts. 

I'm about to rip their heads off, she looks up and those blue eyes have me in their trance. She looks scared and confused. She probably doesn't even know what a fucking body shot is. I know I have to make sure she's okay before I do anything, else, but I can't let these guys just take pictures of her. Before I can decide what to do, Liam walks past me and goes to one of the guys who had undressed her, and he punches him. I see Madilin gasp, covering her mouth. I go to her quickly, standing in front of her so my bigger frame is blocking her smaller ones from the cameras. "What are you doing?" I ask her, a mixture of anger and anxious and protectiveness all jumbled together. "A um... I can't remember what they called it... a um..." she drunk. I can smell it on her, and she's swaying just sitting here. "Do you even know what a body shot is?" I ask, looking on the ground behind me for her clothes. I see that Louis, Harry and Niall joined Liam and there was now a pretty large fight going on behind me. She shakes her head softly, and I spot a little black dress laying on the ground. At first I think I couldn't possibly be hers, because she knows something like that is against the rules, but when I find nothing else, I pick up the little black number. Fuck, I bet she looks so good in this. I don't make rules about what she can wear just to be a dick. I do it because every single boy basically fucks her with their eyes, and she's just too naive to notice. When I look back up, she's not sitting on the table anymore, insted she's stumbled over to Harry, and is holding onto his arm, obviously trying to stop him from fighting. I see him sigh, and he tells her to go to me, pointing back to me, like she was a little kid or something. Madi will generally follow instructions, and she's proves me right as she lets go of him, starting to make her way back to me. I feel ridiculous. There's a massive fight going on, and I'm just standing her trying to get her dressed again. We need to get out of here because this place is kind of turning into a riot. "Got you" she slurs with a smile, grabbing onto my shirt when she gets to me, and I can't help but smile at how adorable she is. I nod and kiss her forehead, before picking her up and setting her on the table. "Arms up beautiful" I tell her, and she does, before I slip her dress back over her head, instantly feeling better that she's now clothed. I hear a few people boo, but they can get fucked. Only I'm allowed to see her like that. 

I stand her back up, zipping up the back of her dress, but before I can wrap my arms back around her, someone else does. "Don't ruin the party mate. We were having a fun time, weren't we sweetheart?" The douche ask, looking down at her as she nods. I don't even know who this guy is, but if he had any idea who I was, he would not be touching my girl. "Madalin, c'mon. We're going" I say, and she pouts softly, making the boy chuckle. She better not be doing this to me right now. "She's staying here." He says, looking back up at me. Fuck, this kid must want to die. He leans down and mumbles something in her ear, before spanking her, and her face changes from a smile, to be scared in a split second. I'm going to kill him. He spanked her. The worst part is, I can't do anything because I know Madi is scared and I need to get her out of here. I reach out my hand, and she takes it in an instant, and I pull her out of his arms, until she's cuddled into my chest. Right where she belongs. Louis must have been watching, because as soon as she's not looking, he lays into him, having him on the ground with in seconds. "I wanna go home" she whimpers. My poor baby. "I know. C'mon" I mumble, before I pick her up. She wraps her legs around me, and I carry her back to my car. 

The time I get her too my car, she's fast asleep, only confirming how drunk she is. I was going to have to tell her off for this tomorrow, but for right now, I was just happy she was safe. I sit her in the passenger seat, and belt her up, before jogging round to the other side and getting in, driving us back to my place. As I carry her back to my room, she wakes up, stirring in my arms. "Its just me" I tell her quietly, and she nods softly, relaxing again. She doesn't talk though, and she looks upset. I sit her down on my bed, taking her heels off, while she takes off her dress. When it's off, she climbs into my bed, and turns so her back is facing me. I know for sure now that she's upset. I guess she's the mood swing kind of drunk, or maybe she was mad at me all along but just needed me to help her out. I sigh and strip down to my boxers, getting in bed next to her. She was on my side of the bed that I always slept on, but I'd sacrifice it for her. Fuck, I'd sleep on the floor if she was next to me. "You're sad" I mumble, tracing shapes on her soft back above her bra strap. This bra was fucking hot, and the black looked so hot on her, which pissed me off even more that so many guys got photos of her. She nods her head and I smile softly, kissing her back. "Why?" I ask, rolling her over so she's facing me. She must be more confident when she's drunk, or maybe she's just paced out, but her eyes don't dart away from mine like they usually do. "I saw you kissing some girl" she says softly after a while, and even in the dim light I could see she's tearing up. Fuck. If I knew Madi had been there, I never would have spent anytime with that slut, but it was my attempt to prove to myself that Madi was the same as all the other girls who I would forget after a while. She wasn't. "It made me sad" she adds quietly, frowning softly. "I'm sorry" I tell her quietly, not sure how to explain it to her without confessing that she's got me all fucked up. "I thought you liked me" she mumbles, and I realise that this is my chance to find out what she really thinks of me. I knew she'd say stuff she wouldn't when she's sober. "I do. You're my girl Mads" I whisper, brushing away a tear, but she just shakes her head. "You wouldn't kiss her if I was" she says. I know there's no point in trying to explain it, because she's not going to listen, and she's not going to remember so we'll probably have this same conversation as sober people tomorrow. "Did it make you jealous?" I ask, pulling her a bit closer to me, and she nods. "Why?" I ask, laying my head on the pillow and looking over at her. The alcohol was making her so truthful. "Because we've not even kissed, and she's a poop and you kissed her so you must not like me" she says, and I smile slightly as she calls the girl a poop. "I do like you. I like you alot" I admit, watching as rolls her eyes, making me smile again. "Whatever Trevor" she says, making me laugh. I would kiss her, but I bet she'd pull away and I don't want to ruin whatever is happening between us. "I don't like to share my daddy" she says with a yawn and I smile again, kissing her forehead. "You don't need to baby girl. I'm yours." The words feel weird coming from my lips. Commuting to one girl. I doubt she'd remember, but I hopes she does, just so I don't have to say it again. "Sleep time" I hear her mumble, before she kisses the end of my nose, and I nod my head. "That's right baby. Wake me if you feel ill or anything." I tell her, but she's already asleep in my arms


	18. Chapter 18

Madi's point of view:  
When I wake up the next morning and see that perfect man laying next to me, I'm so mad at myself. Why would I come back here with him after he made out with another girl? Why do I keep torturing myself with this man? I get up out of bed, and have to step over him since his bed is pushed to the wall. I drop back onto the floor with a thud, but I don't care. He can wake up, and I would still go. I'm not falling back to him again. I refuse to do that to myself. Besides, he won't even care. He kissed another girl. He basically had dry sex with another girl. He doesn't care about me. My head was thumping, and I could hear every beat of my heart as I pick up my dress off the ground, pulling it back on. I struggle with the zip at the back, and I am only getting more pissed off by the second. He's just out to ruin me. I bet he's just messing around. Trying to take my virginity. Well he can get fucked because that's never happening. I'm never coming back here. I pick up my shoes, trying to ignore how neatly he had left them, side by side next to his shoes, and I pull them back on before walking to the door. I grab the handle, but it doesn't budge. Of course he fucking locked it. How could I forget. It's like I'm his fucking captive or something. I kick the door out of anger, and desperately wiggle the door knob, trying to get any type of response. Please open. Please, please. "What are you doing?" A deep voice sounds. 

I don't even bother turning to look at him, Insted turning the other way to the bookshelf by his door and looking in a few different bowls for the keys. He probably fucking swallowed them or something just so I can't get away. "Open the door" I demand, turning to look at him with one of my hands on my hips. I was trying my best to not crumple, but just looking at him makes me want to crawl back into his arms. The way he's lay in on his side, the sheets pooling around his hips, with one of his arms bent out in front of him while he's leaning on the other elbow so he's kind of sitting up. His hair is a mess, and his eyebrows are furrowed as he watches me. "No, come back here" he says, reaching a hand out to me. Fuck. Don't do it Madilin. Don't you dare. My head wins out this round, as I feel it shaking, telling him I'm not going to. He raises an eyebrow at me, and I can tell he's confused. "What's going on?" He asks with a sigh, after not being able to work it out himself. "I'm leaving. Open the door" I tell him, as firm as I can. "Why are you leaving?" He asks, sitting up, and crossing his legs. He leans foward, leaning his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. Poor thing, he's exhausted. Stop it Madi. "You were with another girl, and I'm not staying with someone who's with another girl" I tell him, my voice sounding a bit more unsure now. He closes his eyes for a second and sighs softly. "You don't remember talking about this last night?" He says, opening them back up. "No. Can you just let me go please?" I ask with a sigh, looking down at my feet. So much for a confident and sassy get away. "C'mere first." He says, reaching an arm out for me as I shake my head again. "Madi, She means nothing." He tells me and I shake my head. "I'm sure thats exactly what you told her about me. Just open the door" I say, turning around and looking for the key again. It's gotta be in here somewhere. "No, I told her I was already taken actually" he says, watching me carefully. "Didn't stop you from kissing her." "I don't get you. You run away from me and won't look at me, but you get pissed off when I kiss someone. You can't just expect me to just stay open for you when you are giving me absolutely nothing" He says, obviously having enough. "Yet you expect me to! God forbid another boy might look at me, and you go insane!" "That's because I like you! You know damn well that I like you, and you still don't give me anything to work with!" "I stay here almost every night with you Zayn! I let you do things to me No one else has before. How am I not giving you anything to work with!?" I yell. God, he's so infuriating. His fingers run through has hands, pulling at the ends in frustration. "I don't know what you are feeling! You refuse to let me in Madilin. You're so closed off, and you've surrounded yourself with these stupid walls and you won't let me in! Goddamn it, why can't you just let me in!" He yells, staring at me as he gets up off the bed and comes over to me. "I don't know anything about you either Zayn. All I know is you're an arse who sleeping around and has some insanely out of control anger problems!" I yell back, taking a step back. "I don't let you in? Are you shitting me? How many girls do you think have stayed here with me? Only you and do you realise that you sleep on my side of the bed? The side that I've slept on since I was 8, but I let you sleep there? And do you think I'm a fucking pussy with most people like I am with you? Do you think that I show the fucking soft side to anyone. I didn't even know I had a soft side Madi! So you cannot stand there and tell me you don't know me!" He yells straight at me, and I'm left speechless after that. We stand there in silence for a minute or so, both in shock. Me, just absorbing what he had just said and him probably as surprised as me by what he said. He walks back to his bed side table and opens the drawer. He picks up some keys and walks back over to me, dropping them in my hand. "I hid the keys because you sleep walk and I didn't want you getting hurt. Guess it doesn't matter though" he mumbles, walking back to his bed as I put the keys in the door and unlock it before walking home.

I had to leave. It was just another one of his ploys to pull me back in. I'm sure he says that to all the different girls that he's playing. He probably has a different girl with him every night. A little voice I. My head tells me that I know that isn't true, since I spend most nights with him, but I ignore that. Zayn is a player, and that's never going to change. I have homework that I haven't been doing, and a family that I haven't been seeing. I gave up that stuff for him, but not anymore. He can't play me any more. I am better than Zayn Malik. 

Zayn's point of view:  
Its been four days since Madi and I had the fight. God. I miss her. I miss the ways she scruches up her nose when she's being cheeky, and they way her tiny hands rest on my chest. I miss the way she blushes, and the way she'll swat my hand away when I pinch her bum, but she'll still giggle and I know that she likes it. I miss her innocent little voice, And I miss the way she touches me. Fuck, I miss the way she touches me. Not in a sexual way at all, but the way she'll cup my cheek, or play with my fingers so, incredibly gently. The way she'll skim her finger tips over my cheek bone, and how she traces the outlines of my tattoos and scars. She so gentle with me, and she acts like if she applies too much pressure I will shatter. No one ever touches me like that. No one's ever been scared that they might hurt me. No one except my Madi. These are the thoughts that run through my mind as I'm sitting in the cold, stale room. My dad hadn't been feeling well, and when I took him to the doctors, they told me to bring him straight here. To the hospital. My mum had arrived, and my little sisters were here to but none of them were making it better. I'll admit it: I'm scared. I don't want to think about my dad not being here. I make my way out to the waiting room, where I clutch my phone in my hands, my thumb hovering over the call button. I wonder if she'd even pick up. I hadn't tried to call her since our fight, our only communications being when she text me to tell me She got home safe. I was so thankful when she had done that. I would have been worrying all day she'd been taken by some creep on the walk home. I lean my head back against the chair, taking a deep breath and closing my eyes before pushing the button and bringing my phone to my ear. It was 11 at night on a school night, so I knew she'd be asleep. "Please pick up" I mumble under my breath. I needed her. I needed her to be here, and be gentle and soft and caring. I needed her here to hug me and tell me it was alright. I need her here to look after me like only she can. I hope she would forgive me. I knew I shouldn't have yelled at her again, and I won't lie, it hurt when she said I had anger problems. I know I do, but I thought she didn't care. I thought she was looking around it. "Hello?" Her tired voice mumble quietly, and I let out a soft sigh. Just hearing her voice made me feel like I could let myself be scared. I knew that around her I could fall apart, and she would catch me. "M-Madi? It's um... it's Zayn" I say quietly, running my fingers through my hair. Please don't still be mad. "Where are you? I'm on my way."

After 20 minutes, I see her small frame walk through the doors, and she looks around, eyes desperately searching for me. Her hairs in a messy bun, and she's in a tank top and flannel shorts, and glasses are resting on the bridge of her nose. I always forget she wears glasses, but I love when she does. She looks so adorable and innocent. She sees me and I can see her tense shoulders relax even from back here, and she makes her way to me quickly. She knows me so well, and proves it by sitting on my lap instead of one of the spare seats either side of me. My hands are around her waist in a second, and I pull her into me, hiding my head in her neck, just letting her presence comfort me. "I'm sorry" I mumble, breathing in her familiar perfume. She smells like vanilla and caramel, and it's my favorite smell in the world. I feel her shake her head softly, one of her hands running circles on my back with her fingers while she plays with my hair with her other hand. "Everything's forgiven. Tell me why we are in a hospital."


	19. Chapter 19

Zayn:

She listens to me carefully as I tell her about my dad being sick, and how I'm freaking out and how I just need her to be here, and she nods softly, telling me She understands. Her eyes travel over my face as I talk, watching the different muscles move and I can tell that she concentrating on what I'm saying. That's another thing I missed about her. The way she listens to me. When I finish, she kisses my forehead softly, telling me that it will be okay, and that she's here now. She apologises that she couldn't be here sooner, but apparently she couldn't find any pants. I smile softly at that, and hide my head back in her neck, letting her hold me and whisper softly in my ear. I'm not to sure what she's saying. It might be a song or something but it's relaxing. 

After an hour of just sitting there while she held me together, I sit up again, looking at her. "You look so exhausted" she mumbles softly, frowning a little bit. I nod my head, taking a strand of her hair that had escaped the bun and twirling it around my finger. "I haven't been sleeping that good" I admit with a shrug, and she nods, starting to trace some of the tattoos on my arms. "Why?" She asks quietly, looking back up at me. Her blue eyes catch me like they always do, but as she goes to look away, I have to catch her chin to stop her. "Don't, I need your eyes" I mumble. I had a weird thing for her eyes. They were perfect. They would always calm me down in an instant, and I loved staring into them. They said so much that she didn't even realise. They way they popped and had words of their own never fails to surprise me. "I um... you weren't there" I say quietly, blushing a little since I was about to tell her something pretty embarrassing and I was trusting her with it. "I have like... night mares" I mumble, looking over her shoulder to save myself her reaction. "They keep you up?" She asks softly, kissing my temple as if to tell me it was nothing to worry about, before I nod. "They wake me up" I correct her quietly, feeling really stupid. "That's um... that's why I make you stay with me so often. Because I can sleep when you're there" I tell her. "Are they every night?" She asks, and I find the courage to look back at her, to see that she's frowning slightly. I shake my head, and she cups one of my cheeks, running her thumb under my eyes. "Go to sleep now" she mumbles, looking at me. She doesn't look like she thinks I'm s freak, but maybe she's just good at hiding it. "Will you stay?" I ask, and she nods, taking one of my hands. She turns it so my palm is facing the sky, and starts to trace patterns on it. I stay quiet for a while, just watching the beautiful girl that I was lucky enough to call mine. Even if it was only by the rules I had set her. "You said I had anger problems" I whisper, since that was one of the few things that kept repeating in my head. She looks up at me with sad eyes and shakes her head. "I didn't mean anything I said that day, I promised. I don't mind if you get grumpy sometimes. It's okay." She tell me softly. "You need to go to sleep darling. I'll be here the whole time" She tells me, kissing my cheek. Oh how I wish I could just kiss her, but I can't wreck this. She crawls of my lap, and I desperately grab her leg, scared she was going to leave me. She sits back down next to me, giving me a small smile to say it's okay, before laying me down so my heads in her lap. I link my fingers with hers, and she plays with my hair with the other hand, and all to soon, I'm consumed by sleep


	20. Chapter 20

Madis pov: 

As my eyes flutter open, there's a few seconds of complete confusion as I try to figure out where I am and why the damn lights are on, but then it comes back. Hospital. Zayn. Zayn. I open my eyes more, and realise that I'm asleep in a chair, sitting up. As I look down, I see him still with his head in my lap, tracing circles around my knee. I smile a little bit, loving when he was like this. He was so careful. So delicate and it was such a contrast to other sides of him that I had come across. I'm starting to think there's more sides to this boy than I will ever know. He unpredictable, but I can always count on him. I never know where he'll be, either physically or with his mind, but if I call and need him, guarantee he'll be there. I reach down and run my fingers through his messy hair. He tenses, but then immediately relaxes as he realises it's me. I run my fingers along his jaw, his stumble scratching my fingers in the best way. As I go to pull away, he takes my wrist to stop my movements, and brings my hand to his lips. He occupies himself for a few minutes kissing every nail, freckle and joint of my hand, before kissing the palm. "Thank you for staying" he mumbles eventually, looking up at me. I nod my head, because there's no way I could ever leave. Not him. I lean down and kiss his nose, ignoring every bit of me that's saying to go for his lips.

We spend the next four hours in the hospital, Zayn disappearing every half hour or so to go see how his dad is doing. He's in an induced coma apparently. The majority of our time is spent in silence. Zayn does this sometimes. Hides in silence. I meet his sister's, and they sit in the waiting room with us, while his mum maintains a vigil next to his bed. Around 2, Zayn insists that I go home and get out of my pyjamas. He says it's far to cold in the hospital for what I'm wearing, and I agree to go get into warmer clothes. I know the real reason is because a group of boys had come into visit their friend, and by warmer clothes, he meant less revealing clothes. Nevertheless, I go home and change, not wanting to add anything to what he was going through. 

I arrive back at the hospital in jeans, ugg boots and a hoodie that read 'Malik' on the back. He made me wear it the night he got drunk and I was soaked, and I had been wearing it almost ever since. I always wonder if this will just be Zayn and I always. Never kissing and me constantly being confused about what we are. I walk in the big doors, walking to where we had all been sitting, only to see them all empty. I figure they went for lunch and sit down, picking up one of the old magazines and flipping through. It was one of those ones that made up rumors to get people to buy them. The craziest rumors ever. I was reading an artical about Prince Harry getting Taylor Swift pregnant when I heard some muffled yelling, then a loud door slam. I can't hear anything else, so was about to look back down to find out when this all happened with Harry and Taylor, but then the source of the noise rounds the corner. He looks frantic. He's scared, I can tell straight away. He's breathing heavily, his hands balled in fists by his side and his stance wide. His wild eyes are locked on mine, and I notice something I've never seen before. Tears are pooling in his eyes. I put down the magazine, standing up but he shakes his head quickly, trying to tell me not to. He's on the other side of the room but I swear it's just him and I, as he takes a turn and his long strides lead him straight out the door. 

My legs are much shorter than his, so I have to run out the door to follow him. Even then he's almost half way over the car park. I see him turn down an alley and I run to catch him before he can do anything stupid. Out of breath, I stand at the mouth of the alley, watching him pace back and forth, one of his hands pulling desperately at his hair, before landing a punch into the plastic draining pipe. It breaks, shards flying everywhere and he shakes his hand. It didn't help, I can tell. I come closer to, shuffling down the alley. "Zayn" I say softly when I'm 10 metre away, and he spins around so fast he could have got whip lash. "You can't be here" he says quickly, shaking his head as he bites his lip, his eyes still watering. He's doing his best not to cry. He doesn't want to cry, because to him, he's weak then. To him, emotion is expressed through violence. "You can cry" I say quietly, and that only seems to make him more mad, his jaw clenching as he glares at me. "I'm not a fucking pussy." He spits. "You'd like that though, wouldn't you? Be able to tell everyone you saw Zayn Malik crying" he says harshly. I know he's mad, so I stay quiet, just letting him say mean things to let his anger out. Its better than him punching. He takes a step towards me, and I step back, making him smirk. I can still see tears in his eyes, and I know what he's doing. He's trying to prove he's strong. I already know that though. In a few quick steps, I'm pressed against the cold brick wall of the alley, Zayns hot breath pouring over my face with every deep, sharp breath he took. "I'm onto your game Madalin. Thinking you can come in here and make a fucking pussy of me. Tell everyone at school. Make me out to be a cry baby." He says, glaring at me. "I can ruin you first. Tell everyone about how you fucking begged for me as I had you roped up. Tell them what a dirty little slut you are. How desperate you are." He says in a harsh whisper. "I'll tell them how you live in a shit hole and your who're of a mother...." he stops immediately as I reach up, cupping his cheek. He's so tense. So unbelievably tense. His jaw muscles feel like they're about to snap, and the water is coming back to his eyes again. "Fuck off. I know what you're doing" he snaps, pushing my hand off and taking a step back. I reach out, catching his belt buckles and pulling him back. He could easily resist my pull, but he takes a step to me again, still glaring. "Fuck, you're thicker than I thought. You don't get it do you? Just fucking leave" he says harshly. I run my hands down his arms, keep in my eyes locked with his. "Fuck off" he says again, his jaw so tight I'm surprised his teeth are still standing. I bring both my hands to his cheeks, and his eyes drop from mine as more tears build. "Stop it" he says, trying his best to sound mad. I hear him sniff, trying to put off what was inevitable. My thumbs skim over his cheeks, and his eyes fall close, his jaw finally relaxing a bit. He looks up at me again, his eyes desperate as if he doesn't know what's happening and he's scared. "Please Madi, I don't want to" he begs one last time in a whisper. He doesn't want me to se him crying. Or to cry in the first place. "It's okay. I've got you" I whisper softly, continuing my action. He looks torn like he can't make up his mind. He stares at my eyes for a while, before one of his tears finally breaks free, running down his harden cheek, as he drops his head in shame. "Do you promise? " I hear him whisper as his arms wrap around me pulling me closer and his head finds the crook of my neck. "Always" I whisper, one of my hands finding his hair while the other runs over his back. I hold him like this, and he me while his strong body shakes and his angry words turn into heart breaking sobs.


	21. Chapter 21

I'm holding onto him like my life depended on it, straddling his hips as he's leaning back against the wall of the alley. We sat down after 20 minutes or so. He had long since stopped crying, but the occasional sniffle still came from him as he hid his head in me. Nothing had been said since my promise to him, and neither of us had let go. I was so proud of him, but I knew I shouldn't say. Him crying was monumental and I knew it. I hope he knew I wouldn't actually tell anybody about it. After another 10 minutes of this, He pulls away with a sigh, leaning his head back against the brick wall and closing his eyes, which were puffy and red. I smile a little bit, tracing his collar bones, and I watch as a little smile breaks onto his lips. "Thank you" he says quietly, opening my eyes. He brings his hand up to carefully push strands of hair out of my face, then runs his hands down my face with a frown. "I'm sorry about what I said, I didn't mean..." he starts, but I nod my head, already knowing. I know he didn't mean it. He's just hurting. He runs his finger sailing my jaw line, sighing softly to himself. "He's going in for surgery and they aren't sure if he'll make it" he says quietly after sitting in silence for a bit longer. His fingers are twirling a strand of hair, and I frown softly, not knowing what to do other than give him a big hug. "I need you to distract me baby girl" he says quietly into my ear, his voice breaking and giving me goosebumps at the close proximity. I freeze, furrowing my eyebrows, thinking I must have taken that wrong because there no way he could be thinking about that right now. I pull back to look at him with confusion, only to see that he's crying again, silent tears slipping from his beautiful eyes. He looks so weak, so vulnerable as he leans forward, resting his forehead on mine. His eyes drift close, and I watch quietly, not knowing what to do. "Please Madi" he pleads with a sniff, meeting my eyes. They're blood shot and puffy and desperate. I knew it wasn't right, but it was what he needed.

He can tell I'm cautious, and he sighs, leaning his head back again. "Forget it" he says with a sigh, his eyes changing as he's shutting me out again. I promised that I would take care of him, and I can't if he's shutting me out. "Get off" he sighs, pushing me back a little bit so He can stand up. "No, no, I'll do it" I say quickly, not wanting him to go like this. I need to take care of him. I'm the only one he trusts to let see this side of him and I had to do what came with that responsibility. "You think I'm pathetic" he says, dropping his eyes, ashamed of himself again. I shake my head softly, because that's so so far from the truth. I push his chest softly because I wanted him to get comfy, and he obeys, leaning back against the wall of the alley, wiping tears from his cheeks as they still fall. I rise up on my knees a little and undo his pants, wiggling then down his slender hips. He watches me wordlessly, the only sounds being his soft sniffles. My fingers skim over the hem of his boxers, considering whether I should leave them on or not. I've only done this once before, so I look up at him for advice. He smiles ever so slightly, and I'm glad that he's still understanding that I'm new to this, even in this state. He holds his hand out, and I place mine in it, trusting him more than anyone else. He sniffs and wipes his cheeks again, before guiding my hand down his chest, with his much bigger one. When we reach his boxers, he slips our hands under the hem, leaving it there for a few seconds. "This okay?" He whispers, his voice shaky and weak. It makes my heart flutter that he's asking if I'm okay, and I nod my head, my eyes hooked on his. He moves my hand down and gently wraps it around his width. As I do, his eyes close and a shaky breath runs from his lips. I can't place his facial expressions. I can tell he's upset, but there's a look of desperation? He needs something, anything to make the pain go away. He guides my hand up and down a few times, before taking his hand out, and placing it on my hip, pulling my closer. His head hides in the crook of my neck again, and soon I can feel the wet from his tears soaking through my shirt. I stop when I feel this, not wanting to take advantage of him, and feeling bad for doing this to him while he's crying. "No, no, please don't stop" he begs, pulling back to look at me with wide eyes. I was torn. He was desperate and he thought he needed it. "Please Madi" he sobs, losing it us his head falls back. I watch him, catching the back of his head before it can hit the brick wall. He's broken. So, so, broken, as he cries, begging for me to keep going. After a minute or so, I can't watch any more, and my hand starts again, moving slowly. He quiets slightly, still sniffling as I finish him off. He sobs as he cums, and I do my best to clean him up, before pulling his pants back on as he desperately clings to me


	22. 22

Driving along the road, Zayn has been quiet ever since he finished. It had to be one of the most heart-breaking scenes I have ever coming across. Him with cum spread through his boxers, and sobbing. The fact that it was him made it worse. When you know that this is a boy who just cried for the first time he could remember, who never shows emotion of any variety other than anger, and who is the biggest, strongest and scariest boy you’ve ever met, it’s so much worse. After lots of soft words, and Zayn ignoring me all together, we are now driving back to his place so that he can get showered and changed. He hasn’t changed since when his dad was brought in here.  
I have a feeling that now I have seen this side of Zayn, there’s no going back for us. This boy is a Rosetta Stone and when he let me see this side of him, he became mine. I don’t even know if we can go back to being the way we were before. When he gets mad at me, will I be able to shake the picture of him crying from my head? In many ways, I hope the answer was no. It would remind me that he was a human, not this horrible angry monster. I think it would help him, if I saw him like another person. If I could stay calm and be there for him even if he just finished fighting or yelling, I think then I could help. He didn’t deserve to be so angry all the time. He needed someone to look after him too.   
I had driven him home, and when I stop the car out the front of his house, he gets out before I can even park the car. He slams the door and his big strides carry him out of view, no doubt to his room at the back of the property. Well, there goes open Zayn. I park and as I make my way to his room, I think about how I am best to approach this situation. I think he’s embarrassed. I know what happened in the alley was a big deal for him, but I decide the best thing to do is to pretend it didn’t happen. Maybe not that, but definitely not treat him any differently.   
When I reach his little house, he’s left the door for me, which is a welcome sign. I thought maybe he had expected me to just wait in the car. I walk in and shut the door behind me, the sound of water running telling me that he’s in the shower. That’s good. I didn’t want to tell him, but he was getting a bit smelly. I didn’t want to snoop around his things, so I just go and pull the covers up on his bed before sitting on it. I smile softly at the thought of this situation being the other way round. If I were in the shower and Zayn was out here, he would probably be trying to get into the shower with me. I pull out my phone to text my dad and tell him what’s going on and why I’m not at school. He replies and says it’s okay, and that I was to let him know what I was going to do tonight. After Zayn admitting his nightmares, I could predict I would be sleeping here tonight. 

Zayn had told me once before about his love for long showers, so I wasn’t too surprised when the water didn’t stop for another 20 or 30 minutes. When it did, I was still just playing on my phone, texting my friends. Of course I didn’t even hint to the idea of what was going on with Zayn. I said I was with him, because, well, basically the whole school had been talking about Zayn and I and how we were very unlikely, and the way they had seen Zayn acting around me, so the fact that we were both away from school on the same day raised some questions.

When he does come out, was not prepared in the slightest. He’s got a white towel wrapped dangerously low on his hips, and his v-lines are basically begging for me to stare at them. Sure, I had seen him in boxers before, and it wasn’t too long ago my hand was inside said boxers, but this is different. He has little droplets of water over his chest, and his arms, and his hair is all wet and perfectly floppy. When my eyes finally meet his, there’s an amused smirk on his lips as he watches me blatantly ogle over him. He raises an eyebrow as to ask if I was done, and I feel the heat of the blush coming to my cheeks and oh my god, that’s embarrassing. I turn around quickly and flop down on his bed on my tummy, lying face down in his pillows to hide how red my cheeks undoubtedly were. I hear a chuckle comes from him, and that makes it all worth it. He’s not sad, or at least he laughed, which makes it worth it. “What’s wrong baby?” He says in a tone that implies that he’s clueless to exactly what he’s doing to me coming out here in a towel like that. He knows. This is only proved by the fact that I feel his damp hand sliding under the back of my top, making me tense up. “Huh? Look at me love, you’re being very rude” He says with an obvious smirk in his tone, apparently finding my embarrassment quite amusing. He lifts the back of my shirt up until it’s just above my bra strap, then I feel his other big hand join in, as he massages my back. It felt really nice and after a while, I can’t help but relax under him. He continues for a little while, before giving my bum a little pat and stopping, pulling my shirt back down for me. “Can you even breathe?” he asks with a chuckle, because my face is deep is his pillow. I give my head a little nod and I feel his lips briefly against the back of my neck before he walks off to get changed. 

I listen as he drawers open and close, and he gets his clothes and I wait for it to go quiet to signal that he’s gone back into the bathroom to get changed before sitting up. To my surprise, standing in front of his drawers, apparently having gone quiet because he stopped to read my texts rather than going back to the bathroom to get changed, is Zayn. In all his toweless glory. My eyes go wide and I little squeak/squeal leaves my lips, and my hands quickly fly up to cover my eyes. I hear Zayn’s deep laughing, and I can’t help but laugh a little bit too at the sound. “You perverted little minx” He says with a laugh, and I separate my fingers a little bit to see him laughing, making sure I can only see his head and shoulders. He is so beautiful when he laughs. I don’t get to see him smiling and laughing very often, but I still know how lucky I am, because so many people have never seen it. I think it’s my favourite sound.  
“What are you doing with my phone?” I ask him, my eyes once again covered. I can hear him moving around again, but I dare not look in case I get another surprise. “Reading your texts” He says, calming down from his laughing. “Why?” I frown a bit. There were conversations on there where I had blatantly said that I liked Zayn and I hoped he didn’t see those. “Something you don’t want me to see?” He asks, and his voice is closer now. “N-no I just want to know what you were doing” I say, my voice going a bit weaker as his got more accusing. “Look at me” He says, and his very close now. “Are you clothed?” I ask, and I feel his hands on my knees, spreading them as I sat on the side of the bed, before he moves again. I feel his fingers separating mine and I say his face level to mine, giving me a little smile. “I am not” He admits, before removing my hands.   
He’s knelt down between my legs and we are on eye level with each other. I can’t see anything though, because he’s hidden by the bed. “I’ll ask again Madi, what don’t you want me seeing on your phone?” He says, a bit firmer this time, telling me he didn’t believe what I had said last time. I make sure to keep my eyes on his, not letting them wander and get caught looking at him again. “Just some private messages with my friends” I say, which isn’t really a lie. He hum a bit, nodding his head. “Like the messages from Lindsey?” He asks, a little smirk coming back to his lips again. Fuck. He’d seen. Hopefully he hadn’t scrolled up and seen when I said I liked him. If he’d seen that, I would have to die. “Um… y-yeah. Exactly like that” I nod my head, looking away from him and blushing more. He nods his head and kisses my cheek, before guiding my eyes back to his again. “I’ll be sure not to look at them next time” He says, but I can’t help but think that’s not true at all. I want to ask what he’s seen, and what he thought of it, but I’m too shy.


	23. 23

Zayn’s POV:   
I smile a little bit at Madi as I was kneeling between her legs. She was so adorable and so kind and caring and just so everything I wasn’t. She was highlighting it right now with her complete fear of seeing my naked. If I was given the chance to see her naked, I would jump on it in a second. I think most girls at school would love to see me naked, and they would have probably pulled the towel off me. But not Madi. She’s been sitting her quietly with her face looking like a tomato, patiently waiting for me to be ready to go.  
What happened in the alley was fucking pathetic. It was like the low point of my life and of course, Madi had been there to witness it. Sitting there crying like a little bitch and begging her to make me cum. I’ve never begged before. I had thought she’d think I was a freak after that. I continuously find myself thinking that she must think I’m a freak after I do things like this. But for some reason I will never ever understand, she keeps coming back. Even more than that, she likes me. I had read it in her texts to her friend Lindsay. I had been going get changed when a text came up on her screen with my name in it. Being the inquisitive sought of guy that I am, I wanted to see what they had been talking about. I thought for one panicked moment, she had told people about what had happened in the alley. She hadn’t though. You know she wouldn’t. Idiot. I scrolled through until I had seen it. ‘I know its crazy and that I shouldn’t but I like him. A lot.’ I couldn’t help the little smile that spread across my face, until I went down further and read ‘its not going to happen. He’s Zayn Malik. Zayn Malik doesn’t have girlfriends’ it says. He doesn’t, but he might change that rule. 

I had wanted to see if she would admit to it in person, but of course she wouldn’t. She too shy. I know that when the time comes to have a talk about what is going on, I’m going to have to be the one that initiates it, as hard as it’s going to be. I’m not good at feelings. So it might be a while off yet. In the meantime, I just want to be around her. “You know…” I say, a smirk on my lips. “Since you’ve seen me naked, it’s only really fair that I get to see you” I say. Of course I’m teasing her. I like to do things like this because in my experience, sometimes she surprises me and actually says yes. I’d never encourage her to do something that I thought she wasn’t ready for. Like one time I had told her I’d fuck her in the supply cupboard at school, and just to please me she almost said yes. She wasn’t ready though, so I had to tell her I was kidding, and then gave her a talk about how even if I push her, if she doesn’t want to do something she has to tell me. I told her to think of a safe word. Her cheeks are bright red and she looks like a fish gasping for air as she tries to think of a response. God, she’s fucking adorable. “Did you think of a safe word?” I ask.

I’m still kneeling between her legs, and she’s silently tracing the outline of my tattoos. My knees are getting pretty fucking sore, but she seems to be calm, and I don’t want to disrupt it. I like it when she’s like this. She spends so much of her time being scared of me, and then another whole lot being embarrassed or shy, I really like when she is just calm. After a few more minutes, my legs are too sore and I have to get up. “Close your eyes baby girl” I tell her before I stand up, seeming as I was still naked. I didn’t aim to make her uncomfortable, and I tried to avoid it, such as now. But sometimes, things just slipped out that most other people would be okay with, but not Madi. I find a pair of boxers, pulling them on and turn to see that she’s sitting where I left her with her eyes covered. I smile and bring out my phone, taking a picture of her, before putting it away again. “You can look now” I say, walking back over to her. I sit next to her, then pick her up, setting her on my lap so that she’s straddling it. She goes back to tracing the lines of my body with her finger tips, always stopping when she reaches the band of my boxers, and moving back up. I let her continue, because it was quite enjoyable. She was so incredibly soft and gentle with me, and I really liked it. 

I think this was really relaxing for the both of us, which was exactly what we needed following our intense morning. In the back of my mind, I knew that she was just trying to distract me, but I didn’t mind, because she was doing a good job. “Can you do me please?” Her sweet little voice asks. She looks up from her chest, and I can’t help my little smile. She never asked me to do anything sexual before. I don’t think this even counts as sexual, it’s just touching, but if she wants it, I’d be more than happy to do it for her. I know it would have taken her a lot of courage to even ask that, and I feel quite proud in an odd way. I lean down and kiss her forehead. “Of course baby” I say softly, not wanting to sound harsh and scare her off the idea or something. “Let’s get this off, yeah?” I say quietly, watching as she nods before taking her hoody off her. Well, really it’s my hoody. But I like that it has ‘Malik’ written over the back so everyone can see she’s mine. She has a cute little black top underneath and I tell her it’s pretty before taking that off too. She has this deep purple bra on, and it looks so good. I know I’m staring, and I feel her shift a bit, getting uncomfortable. I bring my hand to her back, rubbing softly as I let my eyes drift around. Sure, I’d seen her like this before, but it was quite quickly the other times, and I didn’t get a chance to really see. I hadn’t seen the freckle on her side, or the way this bra is holding her just right. There was that time that I had kissed her all over, but I hadn’t really been looking then.   
I stay looking for quite a while, letting the silence consume us again. She’s still a bit tense, but she hasn’t asked me to stop or anything, or used her safe word. She told me it way ‘turkey.’ I don’t know what goes on in her head sometimes. Actually, most of the time. I let my hands join in soon, just using my fingertips as she had. Her skin was so soft and warm. She didn’t have any of the scars or tattoos I had. Her skin was perfect. I take my time, studying her every inch slowly and meticulously. “Di…” I hear quietly, after a while, and I look up to see Madi, blushing and biting her lip, quickly looking away. “What was that baby?” I ask her. She blushes more and shakes her head. I sigh a little bit, pulling her closer to me and cupping her cheek. I guide her back to look at me, furrowing my eyebrows. She’s nervous about something, I can tell. “Are you not liking this?” I ask her, trying to work out what’s going. “I am” she says weakly, looking down, only to be guided back to my eyes. “You were going to say something?” I ask softly, bringing her even closer to me as my thumb runs tracks over her cheek bone. She shakes her head, telling me no, but when I sigh, about to go back to what I was doing, she nods her head. “What was it?” I ask her, only for her to lean forward and hide her head in the crook of my neck. Whatever it was, it was obviously something big for her if she was being so shy about it. So I was going to just wait and see what it was. After a while of me whispering to her about how beautiful she was and how she didn’t need to be shy around me, she mumbles something into my neck, but it’s so quiet I miss it. “One more time baby, speak up” I say softly. I feel her take a deep breath before she speaks up again. “Do you want to take off my bra?”


	24. 24

Zayn Pov:

"Do you want to take off my bra?" She says, louder this time but still very quietly into my neck. Now, its my turn to tense up because yes, fuck yes, I really do, but I don't want her to regret it, and I don't know if I am physically able to pass up an offer like that. "Baby girl" I breath out softly, pulling back from her so I can look at her again, and she moves away unwillingly. "Where'd that come from?" I whisper softly, leaning my forehead against hers and resting one of my hands on her cheek, running across it gently. The only response I get is her looking away and shrugging her shoulders a little bit. I spread my hand across her back, pulling her back in gently so that she can hide her face again from me, because my poor baby is really nervous, I can tell. She stays tucked away, and I can almost hear her thoughts as she decides if she wants to do it or not. I think sometimes these decisions are just a bit too much for her, so I have to make them on her behalf.

It's been a few minutes since she hid away against me again, with me holding her close. I've been quietly telling her its okay, its only me, there's nothing you need to be scared off, but she's still shy of course. I reach up her back slowly, my hands feeling like sandpaper compared to her soft skin. She's getting a little but cold now though. I make a mental note to do whatever we are doing quickly, then put another blanket on the bed. I won't allow her to be anything less the comfortable in my bed. My hand eventually reaches the clasp on the back of her perfect little bra, and I carefully undo it, as if moving to fast is going to scare her. It is, I know it is. I feel her breath hitch, and I tuck my chin down so my lips are close to her ear and I softly hush her. "Everything okay" I whisper to her. "I've got you" I whisper with my lips brushing over her ear. She is so inquisitive. Her mind is on high alert as she tries to detmined what is going on. My hand soon takes the place of the purple strap across her back, rubbing softly and just holding her for a minute at this point to let her adjust. Never in my whole life have I taken off a bra so carefully and so slow, with so much concern for the person wearing it. But she's different, there's no way I can avoid it anymore. Madilin is different.

Slowly but surely, I have gotten the two straps down her arms , and the only thing keeping her bra up now is that her and I are pressed together; the fabric holding her between us. "You're being such a good girl" I whisper to her softly. "I'm not going to look, just going to hold you" I mumble to her quietly, kissing a spot just below her ear. Her tight figure relaxes a little bit at that news. I had realized by how nervous she was she wasn't actually wanting me to see her bare chest. Ever since we had that fight, and I had said she was giving me nothing to work with, she had been trying to fix that, I could tell. She wanted me to have this, but I knew she would regret it. But just to have her naked and be able to hold her to me like that. That would be enough. "Lean back baby girl" I whisper to her, relaxing my grip on her slightly. She leans back further than I expect though, and her forehead comes to rest against mine. Everything in my whole entire body and mind is telling me to just look down. I had felt the fabric fall when she moved back, and I knew she was exposed, all but callinge to look. I had promised her though. And her eyes, my god, her eyes. They're right there, right in front of me. So I look at those instead, and promise myself that one day she will be mine and she'll let me look and she'll be comfortable with it. She might even let me touch.

When she hugs me close again, the feeling of her pressed up against me makes me groan. She is so soft against my hard chest, and I hide my head in the crook of her neck, just enjoying the feeling. One day, I tell myself. She lets me hold her for a while longer, just rubbing her back and feeling her chest pressed to mine. "You're cold" I mumble into her neck, kissing there softly. I feel her nod a little bit, and I stand up, still holding her to me. I carry her to my dresser, sitting her there and looking away as she pulls one of my tops on. I feel a pair of small hands wrapping around my waist and I smile, knowing I had done the right thing by not looking earlier, because she didn't regret it.

 

I get her tucked into bed, adding an extra blanket and letting her sleep on my side. She seems to like it better there, and I like to be able to give her that little bit of myself. When I hear her breathing smooth out and become slow and soft, I stay awake, staring at her lips that are just begging to be kissed. I pull her close to me and just tell myself one day


	25. 25

Madi's point of view:

Almost a week has past since that eventful night. I don't know why the bra situation happened, but I'm glad that Zayn knew I had changed my mind, and didn't make me go through with it. I liked what we had done. It was perfect. Since that day, nothing that exciting happened. I stayed with Zayn most nights, his dad had woken up and was feeling a lot better now. I made sure to still spend lots of time at home, spending as much time as I could with my dad and Benson. I had been coming to school again, but I had yet to see Zayn. That all changed today though.

I was with my friends in the cafeteria at lunch, talking happily when I see Dani's eyes lift up to look at something behind me. I turn and see Zayn standing with his friend Harry, both of them looking rather suspicious as they talk. Harry says something and nods in my direction, looking straight at me, and before I can quickly look away and act like I wasn't spying, Zayn turn around. He looks at me and gives me a smirk and a wink before I turn away and back to Dani.

I don't hear from Zayn again until I am just about to leave school. A big arm wraps around my waist and its owner picks me up, making me squeal. "Just me" I hear his deep voice remrk with a chuckle, before he sets me down in a quiet area of the hall. There staircase is pretty abandoned because everyone leaving now. He sits down on the staircase, and looks up at me, patting the spot next to him. I want to ask what him and Harry were talking about earlier to make them look so dodgy, but I don't want to seem prying. Zayn leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees and he tilts his head to look at me. "We're going to a party tonight" he says to me. It's not a question, he's telling me. "Oh" is all I reply, because I have learnt that telling him no isn't only against the rules, but that he'll just get annoyed too. With everything he's been through in the last week, I don't want him getting annoyed. He deserves to just relax a bit.

Zayn had text me and told me exactly what he wanted me to wear tonight, which would normally annoy me, but was really helpful when it was to a party, because I never knew what to wear. He picks me up, and on the way to his house, he has me tell him all about my day and how Benson was. He really likes to hear about Benson. He always says if I ever need help baby sitting him, let Zayn know because he's a cool little kid. That always makes me smiles, because I know Zayn is really good with him. And it's cute to watch. We pull up outside a house that he tells me is Harry's. He tells me to remind him of the rules again, which I do, and he tells me I'm a good girl. 

As we walk inside, Zayn holds my hanhand, which is quite a weird feeling because we don't do this a lot. It almost seems too intimate for whatever we are. It seems that everything but kissing is allowed. He knocks twice on the door and we wait patiently, which makes me realise this isn't a party like he had told me. There's super loud music, there's no one here and he's knocking. "Zayn what are we doing here?" I ask getting scared. He seems to be able to hear in my voice that I'm scared and he looks at me, frowns then crouches down a little to be on my level. "Do you think I'd ever take you somewhere you weren't safe?" He asks me. I look into his eyes and he doesn't look mad or angry or anything. Just Zayn, and I trust Just Zayn. I shake my head, because I know he wouldn't, and he kisses me forehead just as the door opens. "It's fine, nothing to be scared of" he assures me quietly. I look up after Zayn does to see him giving Harry a hug. When he pulls back, Harry smiles at me. I've never talked to Harry except for when I was drunk and tried to get him to stop fighting someone. "Hey love" he smiles and opens the door to let us both in, with Zayn of course leading. 

Harry gets me a glass of water before saying everyone else was down in the basement and leading us down there. Maybe there was a party after all. When we get down to the dim basement though, there's just Liam, Niall and Louis sitting around, and two other girls I see with them some times. This is not really my scene. In fact not at all my scene, but it still makes my heart flutter a little bit that Zayn bought me to hang out with his friends. I probably tense up because Zayn wraps his arm around my side instead and pulls me closer to him. He sits on a sofa, and despite there being lots of other seats, he pulls me down to sit on his lap with his arms wrapped around my waist. "It's just a little party" he mumbles quietly into my ear, running his thumb over my hip bone. I nod my head a little bit, looking at the little bags that were on the table in the middle of the circle of chairs, as Zayn kisses my shoulder.

I'm sitting next to Zayn now, watching as they all do different things with the contents of the bag. A sweet smell has filled the room as they all smoke, and I just sit quietly. I think Zayn might have forgotten I was here. I was sitting next to one of the girls, and I don't think she's noticed me either. They start to pass around one of the little bags filled with pills, and one by one as it goes around, they all place it onto their tongues. I watch, not sure what they are doing. When the girl next to me passes the bag to me, Zayn reaches over and takes it before I can even think about it. "Not for you" he says to me quietly, before passing the bag on without having one either. 

It wasn't long until everyone in the room started to act really weird. They all were looking around with big eyes, their pupils huge and doing odd things. I look over at Zayn and he doesn't seem to notice so I don't mention it. As time goes on, he starts to actually get quite scary. Louis is reaching out and trying to grab things where there is nothing and Harry is just running his hands over things like its the most amazing thing he's ever seen. Niall looks sober because I don't think he took any, and the two girls look scared. "Zayn" I say quietly, looking up at him. At this point I figured whatever was in the bag was some kind of drug, and I'm glad Zayn didn't let me have it. Why would he bring me here in the first place. He looks down at me and gives me a smile, patting his lap. I move to sit on it, because he's warm and comforting where as this basement is cold and scary. He wraps an arm around my waist, and keeps smoking with the other hand. "Want to try some of this?" He offers to me, holding up the smoke which I am guessing is weed by the smell and colour of his eyes. I shake my head, but he brings it closer to my lips. "C'mon Mads. Be a good girl, it'll make you feel a lot more relaxed, I promise" he says softly, rubbing my back. "I don't want to" I say, shaking my head and feeling my eyes start to fill with tears because I was scared and having flash backs to when mum use to come home on some of these things. I remember hiding with Benson and telling him mummy was just being silly. She would do really dumb stuff sometimes on it. One time she had broken every single dish in the kitchen, and only stopped when Logan pinned her to the ground. Eventually she passed out because there was so much something in her system. I remember one night I had woken up when she was holding Benson, and my dad was talking to her in a soft tone, trying to get her to stop and put him down. She said he had a devil inside him, and she needed to stop it. She was standing out on the balcony and I know the only reason she didn't do it is because my dad had been there. If he hadn't.... We left after that night. We packed up big black rubbish bags full of our stuff, and stuffed them in the car and just went. Mum had spent a lot of the money herself, so dad didnt have musch left to support us on.

"Baby, its not what they took, it doesn't even do much" I hear Zayn saying softly as he rubs my back when I start to listen again. "No, I want to go home" I say, shaking my head quickly and moving back from him. He holds me there with his big hand on my back and friend, snubbing out his joint. "It's okay baby, you don't have to have it" he says, but I keep shaking my head as my eyes start to fill with tears. "No, I want to go" I try again in a weak, stuttering voice. "Shh baby, its fine. I'm right here, its okay. They aren't going to hurt you or anything, you know I wouldn't let them." He says, not wanting to go. "There's not. Thing in the world to be scared of baby girl" he continues softly, but it feels like the whole room is closing in around me and my lungs are filling with that horrible sweet smoke and I can't breath. I'm the distance I can hear Zayn talking softly, telling me it's okay, but all I can see is my mum everywhere. "Turkey" I get out and its pretty much a whisper and he probably didn't even hear me over himself talking. It was the safeword we had agreed on. I'm pretty sure it was for sexual stuff only, bit he wasn't listen and I needed to leave right now. "What?" I hear him say, and I look up at him with big panicked eyes, and repeat myself. "Turkey" I say again, and his eyes go a bit wider before he gives me a little nod. "Okay baby, we're going. I'm sorry, just, hold tight baby girl, we'll be out of here in a second" he says softly, but I can tell hes confused and a but panicked too as he quickly grabs his things. "No, are you good with them? I gotta go" Zayn asks Niall, since he is the only other sober one. I don't hear what he replies, but then I'm getting lead carefully up the stairs. I'm stumbling so much, until I feel big arms wrap around me and lifting me up, carrying me back out of the basement.

Zayn sits me in the seat of his car, and bends down to my level in front of me, cupping both my cheeks and making me look at him. He's outside, the doors open but I still can't breath that good. "Still turkey?" He asks softly, running his thumbs over my cheeks because apparently I'm crying. I take that as him saying am I still scared, am I still feeling unsafe, do I still want it to stop. I nod my head telling him yes, and he leans forward and kisses my forehead softly. 

Zayn Pov:

I don't know what set this oftf, or really what the fuck was going on, but she had used her safe word and I knew that meant she was overwhelmed and wanted to stop. I think she was having a panic attack. Her breathing was so fast and so shallow and tears were streaming down her face. "Madi, baby, watch my chest okay? Just watch my chest and breathe the same as I..." "Daddy." My poor , poor baby. "I know, baby, I'm right here. Right here. Breathe with me baby. Ready? In, and out" I say softly, and her breath is staggered and hitching but at least she's not hyperventilating anymore. "Good girl, you're doing so well" I say softly, watching her eyes that are fixed on my chest and copying my breathing because she can't seem to remember how to do it herself. Once her breathing has calmed down a bit, she looks up at me and meets my eyes again, before whimpers and grabbing my shirt and pulling me toward her. I told around her and hug her and close as I can, telling her everything's okay, and that I was so so sorry for putting her in that position. I felt like shit. We always had at least two sober people when we were going to do something strong like acid and I just thought bringing Madi with me would make it less boring. I never thought she would react like this or there's no way I would have bought her. She calms down more as I hold her close to me, and she tells me about her mum, about her drug problem and about everything she had done while on different things. I'm so fucking stupid for bringing her here.

It's almost an hour later that I finally get here home. She doesn't want to stay with me tonight, and I see why. I'm scared I've ruined it, everything, by taking her there tonight. I should have asked. We were sitting in my car outside her house now, and neither of us were saying anything. I was shit scared she was going to get out of this car and I'd never see her again. She'd finally let me see a little bit of what was behind those walls of hers, and now she was going, I knew it. "I'm sorry for using the safe word" she mumbles softly, not looking at me, but her knees instead. "No, no, not at all. Never ever be sorry for using it. I'll never get mad at you for using it. I'm proud of you, you did really well," I say softly. She sighs softly and nods her head before opening the door and slipping out. "Bye" she says quietly. Before she can go I get out and come around to meet her. As soon as I open my arms she walks into them, which is a welcome sign that maybe I haven't lost her all together. She looks exhausted, having tired herself out from all the crying. I hug her, swaying back and forth softly then kissing the top of her head. "You'll call me if you need anything?" I ask, and she nods her head, before I kiss her temple softly. "I'm sorry" I say again, and she nods before pulling me down to kiss my cheek, and then walking inside.


	26. 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was another chapter, but I didn't like it so I rewrote it and here it is!

Zayns point of View:

I fucked up so bad by bringing Madi the other night. If she had told me earlier... If I had known I never would have done that. I'm so fucking stupid.

It's been two days since then, and I'm trying to give Madi some distance. 

She's probably disgusted in me. 

I'm into the things that ripped get family apart and almost got her baby brother killed. I'd be disgusted if it was the other way around. 

I've convinced myself its over, that she wants absolutely nothing to do with me. I had text her when I got home that night, telling her I was sorry again, and that she should try and get some sleep, and call if she needs anything. She had replied 'thank you for helping me, night x'

Since then I had sent the classic 'good morning beautiful x' and 'sweet dreams, I hope you have a good sleep, let me know if you need anything. I'm sorry' texts to her at the appropriate times, with no replies. 

She hates me. The one person in my life that doesn't look at me like a complete fuck up now thinks I'm a complete fuck up.

Good going, dickface.

My real life interactions with me since then have been basically non-exestant. When I pass her in the hall, I wat h her closely trying to get any sign of affection from her. I crave it. I feel like the fuck up I am without her. 

See, since I meet her, I haven't felt like such an arsehole. I mean, of someone like Madi cares about me, I must be doing something right. But now she doesn't care.

She doesn't even glance up as I walk past, even when I talk louder to Niall next to me so she is sure to know its me. She doesn't look, in fact she turns away, and Niall just tells me to shut up. 

In the cafeteria at lunch,  I watch her from our table, pushing my food around the tray with a fork. I watch as she stumbles because she's not paying attention, and her try of food gos everywhere. 

Before I can even think, I'm on my feet to help her, but another boy gets there before I can. Who is he? Why is he talking to her? Everyone knows by now she's mine. 

I stand across the room, probably looking like the lost idiot I am, watching her. The way her eyes nervously dart to the boy, like she did to me, or still does when I scare her sometimes. The tight 'thank you' smile she gives him. He better turn around so I can see his face. I'll teach him not to go after my girl.

I'm a bit shocked when the faceless boy nods in the direction of my table, and the Madi looks up towards it. She's seen me. Standing here looking stupid as people weave around me. I give her a little smile and she quickly looks away, thanking the boy again then standing up to go. 

The boy stands up, and I'm about to go beat his arse until I realise it's Liam. He walks to me and chuckles softly, patting my chest to break me out of my trance. "She says sorry" he says, giving me a sad smile.

My next encounter with her was after school today. It was raining and I knew her crap heap of a car was with Logan today because he had some kind of practice after school. I almost walk up to her three times, but I keep chickening out, and I was about to a forth until she turns to see me. 

"Do you want a ride home? It's raining."

Obviously it's raining, fuckface. She can see that. I'm such an idiot.

"No thank you. I'm good" she says softly, not even meeting my eye.

"You're not going to walk in the rain Mads" I say, frowning a bit. That's not happening. 

"I'm going to get a ride with Dani" she tells me, and I nod a bit. 

"Okay." I say awkwardly, nodding my head. I wanted to say so much, but I didn't want to do it in the middle of the school hall around all these people who don't know me like Madi knows me.

"Can you come over tonight?" I ask her before I can pussy out of it. I sound nervous and like I'm kind of begging, which I am.

I'm slipping and I need Madi to treat me like I'm a half decent person again before I do something really dumb. Bad people do bad things and without Madi, I'm the worst."

"I have to look after Benson tonight" she says quietly, playing with her fingers nervously and staring at them. 

"I can come to your house" I insist. I tried to give her space, but its not working. If I can just be alone with her, I can convince her, I know I can.

"I don't know, I've got heaps of homework" she says quietly. 

She doesn't want me.

"Oh okay. I get it" I say quietly, nodding my head. I don't get rejected much, but it certainly hurt.

"Zayn, its not like that" she says quietly. She's trying to comfort me, but I just shake my head a little bit, giving her a sad smile.

"It's cool, don't worry about it. Just, text me if you finish all your homework, yeah?" I say, trying to act like she didn't get stab me. I know she knows me better than that, that she can see right through it. I pretend for my own good more than hers really though.

"Okay" she says quietly.

That brings us to tonight, where I'm lying in my bed, once again trying to act like I don't care about Madilin-Jane. 

I was busy drowning in all of my self pity and self hate when I get a text. I check it and see a little message from Madi.

'Dad came home early, do you still want me to come over?'

Yes. Fuck yes, I do. I want you to come over so fucking much. Maybe she hasn't completly given up on me just yet.

'Yeah, do you want me to come pick you up?x'

I frantically get up, pulling on a pair of jeans and a simple top and look in my mirror to try and make my hair look less shitty.

'Yes please'

I drive way to fast to Madi's house, and when I pull up out the front she is already sitting out on the porch waiting for me. It's too cold for her to be out here, she should have waited inside.

She walk over to my car and gets in, but doesn't say anything, just looking at her lap, and I just start to drive. I hope she won't be like this all night.

The ride back to my house was pretty much silent except for a little bit if small talk. I had turned on the radio because it was a little awkward.

When we get back to my room, I walk in first then lock the door after her. I flick on the lights and for the first time in two days she meets my eyes.

"I'm really sorry again Mads, I should have never..."

She surprises me, by walking over to me, mid apology and cupping my face between her small hands, pulling me down and kissing me.

On the lips.

Madi is kissing me on the lips.

Fucking finally.

She pulls back and she blushes deeply and looks humiliated. She tries to take a step back but I quickly wrap my arm around her hips, holding her in place. 

I was about to ask her why she's all shy now, when I realise it's because I didn't miss her back. I kind of just stood there in shock.

"Look at me baby girl" I say softly tucking her hair back behind her ear.

Madi Pov:

He didn't kiss me back. He doesn't even like me. Why did I do that? All my friends said him and I definitely liked each other and that I should just go for it. I even asked my dad and Logan and they both said he liked me. 

Zayn was too worried about scaring me off or something, so I knew he wouldn't do it for a while. What happened in the basement at Harry's made me realise how much he cares for me. How much I rely on him and how him and I are inevitable.

I was embarrassed that I had told him what happened with mum, and I thought he would think I was weird, which is why I haven't talked to him.

Today at lumch I had dropped my stuff and Liam helped me. He told me Zayn was a mess and that he felt so stupid. He said I should just walk over there and kiss him.

That's what I had just done, and Zayn totally rejected me. His lips were so soft and the stuble of his cheek against my hands felt amazing. But he just stood there.

"Look at me baby girl" I hear him whisper softly, pulling me closer to him by the grip on my hips. I think Zayn has his own gravitational pull because I am always, always feeling it.

I'm now preparing myself for the 'we're better as friends' talk. I'd rather just die.

"C'mon, look at me" he whines playfully, nudging my cheek with His nose to get me to move my face. I move it a little bit, but apparently that's enough for him and he places a quick kiss on my lips. 

"I can't kiss you again if you won't let me at you lips" he says quietly, and I can hear the smile in his voice. 

With a blush I look up at him slowly, seeing him smiling at me. He keeps and arm wrapped around my waist and brings the other to cup my cheek before he leans down and kisses me.

I haven't kissed many people before, so I'm not as smooth as Zayn is. And I'm very nervous. I accidentally bump my nose into his and was about to pull back out of embarrassment, bit he just laughs softly against my lips and holds me there soon.

"You couldn't do anything wrong right now. Just relax" he whispers against my lips before starting to kiss me again.

His lips feel perfect against mine and my whole body feels warm and giddy.

This is perfect.

I know it might be hard and at times I might hate him, but I know this is exactly where I belong


	27. 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if it notifies you if you are following this story, but I rewrote the last chapter, so make sure you go and reread that one before this !
> 
> Also, if you guys are enjoying this story, the you should please check me out on Wattpad for other stories I have written. I'm about to start a new one for Liam too. My name is Little_blue_Tui and it would mean the world to me if you would read some of my stuff xoxox

Madi Pov:

"I've been wanting to kiss you for the longest time" he whispers after we finally pull back, me out of breath a little bit because I don't think I breathed the whole time.

"You did really well baby" he says softly, moving so both of his arms are around my hips and he leans back against the wall, taking me with him. 

"I was really bad" I blush a bit, leaning my head against his chest to hide my blush from him. His heart is absolutely racing, and it makes me smile softly .

"You were really really good" he says quietly, running his hand through my hair.

"Am I all forgiven?" He asks me, and I nod my head a little bit. I was more embarrassed than mad at him really.

We stand there quietly for I don't know how long, until Zyan moves his hands down and gives my bum a little pinch. I squeak softly and roll my hips forward to get away from his hands. My crotch rubs against his accidently and an odd sound falls from my lips, and I groan from his. It felt good. 

Really good. 

"Madi" he breaths out softly, ducking his head down to rest it in my neck. 

"Do it again?" He asked quietly, running his hand softly up and down my back. 

"I don't know what I did" I say quietly, because I had just moved in reaction to his touch, I can't even remember.

I feel his hands move to my hips and he gides them back to roll into his crotch so the feeling happens again. 

"Zayn" I whimper softly, not used to the amazing feeling.

"Just like that baby. That's a good girl" he says softly into my ear, continuing to roll my hips the way that he liked it. It felt really good for me too, and I was just watching his face. I could feel he was getting hard, down there.

It was slow, but I liked it, nothing too rushed or heated. Just slow and passionate . Zayn kept asking if I was liking it, making sure I was enjoying it as well as him, and I would always nod quickly. 

After ten minutes or so, he uses his hands on my hips to make me take a step back. 

"I don't want to stop" I say a bit to quickly, before blushing at how desperate I sounded. 

Zayn didn't look judgemental or like he though I was too eager or anything, just understanding. He knew it was my first time doing things like this and knew it was overwhelming.

"I'm not stopping baby, don't worry. Daddy's just going to make this feel better for us" he says softly, looking down at me carefully and giving me a little kiss. 

"You're doing so well. Making me feel so good" he says quietly to me and I nod quickly because in this moment, all that mattered was Zayns pleasure.

He takes my hand and leads me over to the bed, undressing me until I was just in my bra and panties. He pulls the blankets off his bed until there's only a sheet left and lifts it up for me. I crawl under it, looking back up at him for further instruction. 

I relied on him telling me what I should do in times like this. I truested him to do the thinking for me, because all that was in my head was Zayn, Zayn,Zayn, Zayn, Zayn.

"On your back" he tells me, stripping down to his boxers too. I whine quietly, because he was taking too long. He looks at me with a smirk, tapping my nose. "Be patient" he tells me.

He crawls on top of me on the other side of the sheet and leans down to kiss me softly. We kiss for a while, then he pulls back with a smile before sitting up on his knees. 

"I'm taking off my boxers" he tells me and I nod, looking away to give him some privacy, only looking back when he kisses my cheek.

He hovers over me before thrusting his crotch down against mine, and it makes me moan and my eyes roll back.

"Better, isn't it?" He says quietly, starting to rock into me again and again.

"You did so good, but it feels better when daddys in charge, doesnt it?" He speaks quietly into my ear as I nod quickly. My words dont seem to be working and my brain is consumed by pleasure 

He continues far a few minutes before stopping, making me whine again.

"Zayn, please" I frown, squirming because I wanted more.

"Madi, focus on me" he says softly, rubbing my cheek.

I ignore him and try to move my hips up to get some friction from him, but its not much and it doesn't feel to good.

"Baby, open your eyes" he speaks softly, seeming to understand my brain is foggy. 

"There you go" he says softly, giving me a smile when I do

I reach up and try to pull his head down to kiss me again. He smiles softly and gives me a quick kiss before pulling back.

"Daddy" I whine, trying to get anything from him. 

"Shhh, I know. I'll start again in a second, I promise" he says softly, brushing my hair back off my slightly damp forehead. 

"I want you to take your panties off, then I'll start again" he says quietly and I nod my head, doing as he says quickly. Id do anything he says at this point.

"May I see them?" He asks once they are off, and I blush deeply, but he just smiles at me and takes them anyway. 

"You're so wet" he whisper quietly, looking down at the sheet where my crotch is.

"Fuck Mads" he groans, pressing his finger to there, making the sheets damp and me grind my crotch against his fingers through the soft sheet.

He watcges me do this for a while before starting to grind agaisnst me again. 

"You're in your own little world, aren't you love?" He says quietly, kissing my forehead before he starts. 

After another little while, I was getting that feeling in my tummy again and I think Zayn knew. "Ready baby?" He asks and I nod my head quickly. 

"Let go for me" he says, and I do and he holds me close and its amazing


	28. Hii

Heyooo, is anyone still reading this? I'll write a new chapter if there is xx


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